Thursday, December 07, 2006

Maturity- waiting for it

Read my neighbour's daughter's blog and thought to myself...there you go, someone less than half your age appears more mature than you...and read Seekingsolace's blog ( and struck by her simple, sensible, poignant postings. My postings are mad mad mad and not just a bit childish eh. Mentally I'm 23. Ha ha ha.

There is this person I met recently. No you dont know her. In fact she'd kill me if she knew I'm even hinting about her here. She is interesting. Introverted and extroverted all at the same time. Tying herself in knots with insecurities. Incredibly witty and funny the way that I so appreciate! Very honest with self but sometimes puts self down too much. Thinks she is fat . And ugly. (she is so not) Thinks that I do not look like my pictures (oh so kind) Wants her bf to commit NOW NOW NOW and what the heck do you mean you are NOT READY??? Thinks I'm crazy for not being happy 2000% at achieving her goal in life- marriage and kids. Basically - this girl is ME 10 years ago. I have news for her...the insecurities do not go away ok he he he...beLIEVE me. I can impart wise patronising words from the position of having gone through them. Realising that you are who you are and you better accept that and be happy with it. Realising that no matter what ppl think of you, what you think of you is the one that matters most. Realising that so what that you are not the sensible,cool.reserved , aloof, rational person you always dreamt of being (and I still do lar!!) , maybe the world NEEDS a manic personality like you.

Problem with us, is that we think that the career we want is just out there, waiting for us. Neither of us think that much of banking and lawyering as the career you would like ppl to say you have! ("She works for the UN" sounds sooo much nicer) ....And much nobler.. The reason I did not want to go into corporate law is that it only enrich the rich! I thought Environmental law is better....but then, there is NO MONEY in that.

As for my friend, she is disgusted with working. Pschaw! What is money! Tsk- silly little thing, working for money! He he he... If given a chance, she'd be doing charity work. While shopping for expensive handbags.. he he he... (ok she is not poor la) She is so much younger than me, she can take all the opportunities out there! Try journalism, try theatre, go wakeboarding, go surfing, learn to fly, be a DJ, be a newscaster (my secret dream of wanting to be a tv talk host he he he) learn a language..I am telling her all this as in "Why aren't you out there doing all this????"

But on the other hand,why aren't I?? I'm not exactly in my OLD what's stopping me then?? Time?? Kids?? Hubby?? Family?? Pure laziness.....And fear....I can't imagine chucking this law thing for studies. Or deejaying. He he he..

Ho Hum this is an old topic...again revisited as the appearance of this restless soul has reminded me again of all the "dreams" I had...

But again, didn't I say that my dream was to get married and have kids??

Time to brush up on the new year resolutions again....I will take up a language, I will consider having a business, I will learn a new skill...etc etc...I will stop .

1 comment:

Fulltime Mom said...

what about starting a kain shop?

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...