Today I stayed home, deciding that 3 days of dull headache and sore throat is enough, it's time to take a break and stay home. I don't think the kids liked it much- they had to abandon their free playing and squeeze in their lessons. (Hah! "Lessons" sounds so Alice in the Wonderland kan?)
Anyway in the evening went to send Maid No 1 back to her aunt's place. Went shopping wiht her first. Gave her a wad of cash - she bought Milo, coffee, deodorants etc etc etc... I guess she's going to miss the stuff she has been consuming over here for the last 7 years eh.
Hubby said that the new 2nd maid should also come along so , against everyone's advice, we took this newly minted maid , out. (everyone said not to , not until she's been with me for a month or so).
So maid no 2 is pushing the trolley with a pained expression on her face. I bought her her necessities etc etc (including towels). Kids are with the father , supposedly waiting in the car. I took the chance to get some groceries for the house.
I reached the car- no one was around! Kids and dad came later- and guess what? Dad had also bought groceries..tsk tak ikut plan betol. So now we have 2 huge bottles of coffee etc etc. (We can never do Amazing Race)
Then we went for dinner. We ordered satay for all. Because it was very late, (9.10! My kids were starving and I heard complaints that Sara was eating tissue) I ordered and did not even ask what each of the maids wanted. Husband was concerned that it may not be enough for the maid, Throughout dinner he kept fretting about what the maids would eat, whether they like sate whether they wanted more chicken..He kept asking me to ask them, and then before we went he asked them whether they were ok, and if they wanted more food. I should get a job with this man. ARGHHHH...
Husband is treating my maids like guests. Which is ok except I just wish he would realise that they are not necessarily poor people for whom we should feel sorry for. They have come here to work and for whatever they can get out of us. Yes, we have been lucky with the first maid - she stayed with us for 7 years but then, why wouldn't she? (Warning, "berkira" session ahead!!:-))
We gave her cash in her hand, we send her back to her uncle and family's house at least once a month, (she has quite a large family here and they are spread out in KL.)she was always with her family every eid for every year (she has to go visiting more than us) , and every public holiday and basically everytime we go anywhere she would ask to go back to her family' place rather than coming along. She was not stupid: any holiday with us, would fall under the category of work. Having said that, we took her to Redang, Tioman, Penang, and some islands (she went to Genting herself) ..I'm not begrudging her all that, but what Im geting at is, basically - she did not have a hard life ok! Anything extra burdensome, she gets paid for it. So I think we were nice to her. She was equally lucky to get us. (Ok ok I am aware that I have 5 kids and it was not that easy to look after them then. Go along with me here )
We plan to be equally nice to this new maid but then, I am constantly aware, that this is a stranger , who said to me that she has never worked before but then has a 2 year old passport, who said she was 22 but who told my 8 year old Sophia tht she is 10 years older than her, etc etc. I don't carelah if you were a trapeze artist in your past life but if you are here to work, I will accept you. But I remain wary and will not trust you 100% yet lah.
As opposed to Mr Social Worker ....Personally I think we should not be too naive and think they are lesser well-off guests when the truth is they see us as money bags. (hey Minah did too)..what say you. Of course he thinks I'm too hard and employer from hell and if he is too nice, so be it. He said I am trying to tell him how to behave. I tell him I am only poiting out to him he should not be too nice and gentle and solicitous with the maids in case they think we are so approachable.
We had an argument about how nice he was. And then we had an argument about how we should not argue. We had another argument about how each of us argue. This is me- "We are an extension of each other , we are not on opposite sides..why are you always aiming to "win" - Can't you just see things from my side?" This is him- "Are you saying I have to agree with you all the time?" Er....is that what I was saying?? I guess !! Hahahahahaha...married life..dontcha love it. (Yes in an ideal world a spouse should be the other person's partner, support, ally, etc and yah, an extension of you (as far as possible!) Why shd you be less than honest with your partner or less than kind? - This does not mean I am for being attached at the hip (really, it doesn't. really.Please believe me)
Tomorrow I will regret posting this personal insight on my beautiful relationship (of course we / he/ whatever- apologised allready - I can't bear negative vibes) and will try to delete it. Or not.
Anyway my maid no 1 has asked me to fetch her from Uncle' place on Sunday - her flight is on monday morning, at 8. She has to come back as her taxi have to go and send her mah!!! (at crack of dawn some more) -It was not even an issue- of COURSE we would send her.. sigh...we are such slaves to maids.
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