Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Corruption- must we accept it??

Have you seen NST's headline today?

Money politics is allready darah daging in UMNO.

It is a widely held belief that Malaysians are corrupt. We are not alone, the perceptions out there also say that Indonesians are totally corrupt, and so are the Thais. Singaporean are also corrupt but just have better PR hahaha. The best thing about a blog is I don't need to verify anything and anyway I said it was perception and as such highly subjective he he.

Anyway the exact degree of corruption is up for discussion. We know bribery is wrong. We know it is haram. We know of ACA.

But in Malaysia it is never bribery. It is always "gift". or "Commission" . or "Incentive". The person asking has no shame because it is not a bribe. The person offering has no compulsion as he needs his work done/approved etc.

In Malaysia I think a lot of transactions can still be done without having to grease anyone's palm. However, to hurry things up, sometimes we give "incentives". I have never had to do that myself but I have seen with my own eyes, "incentives" being given in exchange for speedier issuance of this or that.

The recipient buat muka dono...and is happy to have some "duit raya". Like I said, its never bribery.

If the above was a gift, how about "Commissions"? Commission charged for giving you preference over others, for getting you contracts/works etc. Officers in a position of power , who has to do that job anyway, will do the job or make sure the approval/contract goes to you - at a commission! Land price goes slightly up because it incorporates commission-Cost of building incorporate duit kopi - and it goes to the department to be shared .

What do you think of the above practice. It's wrong. But we participate in the game because if we don't others will. because if we don't the project gets delayed, or terbengkalai. It is expensive to maintain your ethics and integrity.

Malaysia, Malaysia. can we not emulate others in this? can we get rid of this cancer? Can we make the thought of corruption so abhorrent that you feel very geli if you take it and your tongue feels very heavy to offer it? Can we?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Divali & Raya

How was your 3 day weekend..? And Deepavali celebrations?

I am happy to report that I have quite a number of hindu friends. Sometimes, we don't realise that our social circle do not include other races. I think its important to know abt the way other people live ..but then I memang kepochi pun...heheh

Yesterday only one invite. The rest are being held next week and the week after. Yesterday we went to Uncle's house. We became close when I was at the old firm and he drove me around for meetings. Pinjam je lah, he was working for Big Boss. Uncle very generous, so many helpings he pushed on us . There was a goodnatured fight with Low the IT guy , over the delish fried fish that Auntie just cooked. Hot and crunchy. My friend Nivi used to serve that too and I can never replicate the crunchiness. Apa rahsia?

Anyway I admire this Uncle because he has 4 kids all in or have been in, Uni. Semua "menjadi" lah orang kata. This is amazing to me especially because he was the sole bread winner, he was not one of those earning 5 figure income, and he worked long hours. He told me his secret is his wife was not working. Alamak..I thinkwe can also do it, tinggal lagi a bit harder. Plus anak kita kena NAK belajar. Sometimes we send them to tuition etc but they think its for us so they do it sambil lewa. How to make them feel its for their own future ye? I told my kids you need to take care of us so make sure you get good jobs and one of you had better be a doctor ok! Teruk ke I ?

Then, a Hari Raya visit my late opah's sister. Opah Chu. Stayed soo long chatting to them about our past.Atok chu said arwah onyang I yang selama ni I ingat from Pakistan, was from AGRA?? YE ke??? And his name was LAL MOHD bin MAHAGURU SHEIKH KASIM and he was sent to Tg Malim to spread the religion as a "Da'i" but then he went to the roti business pulak. And my late onyang perempuan pulak, came from Jawa(before married LalMohd ni)(oh Aku Jawa rupanye!!!) and her father's name was Mbak Mentow and he was very berilmu, kalau kita naik kereta , saing dengan dia jalan kaki, dia sampai dulu dengan terompah je, punye lah magic. (Ok you can imagine my darling skeptic husband's face. I told him,this was a different time, jin and orang halus is very biasa, not used for black magic but for work and they are simply another community within us, just that we cannot see them. Nothing supernatural at all. He he!)

My kids mengaruk boring. Ish ish.. kids kan. Dah tua macam I ni baru appreciate .

Balik- penat. TIDO....

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Why we came home.

A lot of people have asked why we came home, after so long in the UK - if you count the years of studying it would be more than 13 years for hubby, and about 10 for me. We got so used to the lifestyle there, but we did talk about coming home, especially once Hubby got his FRCS Part 2. There were no more exams to do. He had to decide whether he wanted to apply for registrarship or go home, or go to Dubai to earn loads of mulah like some of his friends were doing.

The first option would involve another 6 years, and applying for the right job.

The second was a great option only it involved getting a massive pay cut. I mean, inthe UK you get paid the same but you can buy a lot for your money. One pound can get you milk, bread and etc etc. I used to get a huge trolley full at Sainsbury with just 50 quid. My expensive shoes from Clarks cost 30 quid. And that is expensive ok. Over in Malaysia RM50 dapat apa...satu plastik bag kot.

Going to Dubai was not really an idea supported by hubby, despite stories of earning USD 50,000 per month lah, etc (ye ke!!!???) It would be a totally unknown lifestyle, education wise etc.

In the end one thing decided it for us- the kids.

We wanted the kids to have a Malaysian upbringing. We wanted them to have their opah, their aunties, their grandaunties, their uncles, their cousins, their extended family. We wanted them to use water instead of tissue paper in the loo, eat with their hands, pepper everyword with "lah". being muslims, we wanted them to to mengaji lessons, too! We wanted them to be -Malaysian.

Also, we got a bit tired of not being settled, always being the outsider, always suspecting that hubby did not get whatever job he applied for because he was not white. His other doctor friends from Asia got consultant posts in areas where there were many asians, which limits one's options a bit. It would be nice if we can go to somewhere we call OUR COUNTRY. You know?

Don't get me wrong, no one was openly racist. The UK has very strict anti racism laws and its splashed everywhere. But, racism still happen and we felt that however comfy it was, it was still not our home.

So last-last we decided to up and leave. Mak oi, the packing was HELL. Selling our car, selling our TV and stuff, getting a container to ship things home. It was such a hectic time.

Do I regret coming back? No, of course not. I do miss being able to buy fresh milk for less than one pound, I miss car boot sales , and I miss the public facilities there- I miss the libraries! I miss the scenery- when the weather is just right it was very beautiful. I miss the tabloids. I miss the B&B. I miss Sainsbury/Safeway. I miss fresh fruits at very cheap price. I miss the privacy ! Believe it or not, Hubby misses wearing jumpers. Ada ke.

I do NOT miss having mat salleh ask me about Malaysia, Islam and our food and say "How interesting!" in the way you would say when you see an interesting specimen at the zoo. Would you go to America / UK and say to them, "you speak very good english!" ?. whatelse- I do not miss the cold in the thick of winter . I do NOT miss the lack of SUN! I do not miss the high cost of utilities. mak oi, heating bills....!!

Say what you want about Malaysia,there is so much warmth here. No where in the world 3 major races live in harmony - really, we do, forget about the policies our govt think up for us ,as a group of people we get along great!( This Monday we are going for Divali open house (god there goes the diet).) And everything is about family and friends. We went to a friend's wedding in the Midlands and was shocked to find out that she did not invite the next door neighbour! I told her if it was in Malaysia the entire village would be there.

If I were to leave and go migrate somewhere I would miss the "suratkabarlama" chant, the azan, the kedai mamak, the kipas angin(fan)- and the family. And there is so much opportunity for hubby to progress.

We left just the 2 of us, and came back with 3 kids!Of course we suffered because of the pay cut. And we had no savings from the UK! But I'm glad we got to "build" our family there and learnt to live life the hard way (ie no help!).

I have a few friends and family still there. My brother for one. I say, finish your training, make your money, and in the end, come home. Home is still the best place.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Been BZ

Well...its been a bz kind of couple of days.

Although I did go AWOL on Wednesday- met an old friend who was whizzing through KL on the way to her home in Dhaka. I am so sorry for being worried about work ok friend , and for smsing and calling ppl relating to the work thingy. I get anxious ler.. and guilty.

Today I found that one doc which is supposed to have been included in the pile of docs is not's my fault for not checking properly as I assume it was there...assume is a way to make an ass out of a you and me. (get it?). This kind of slackness irritates the heck out of me but nak marah sapa, its my fault in the end. I need a checklist and/or a very good secretary. Sigh.looks like the checklist is going to be the one. :-)

If I had stayed in the UK, agaknye I kerja ke? It never crossed my mind you know, to apply for a job there. I did work at maybank , and then with a lawyer , but once I got Nadine, it was housewife life for me. I loved it though, and did not hanker to go to work. Looking back how was it that I was not bored??? I found loads of ways to keep myself entertained:

1- I took Nadine to playgroups, and I joined the local Mother and Toddler group. every wednesday is coffee morning- pi have coffee at one of the mothers' house. Borak borak kosong while our kids terrorise that poor woman's house.

2- I took Nadine to Tumbling Tots.

3- I was in charge of our domestic affairs- had loads of fights with the local manager of properties for overcharging us rent/electricity etc. Wrote letters to various council or other about this and that.

4- I went shopping with my friends - in Chelmsford it was nivi and weiling- a malaysian nurse married to a hongkong doctor- we were the broke ones while she had money.

5- I lepak with my friends. I called my husband a lot.

6- I managed our finances which at that time meant switching one credit card to another cheaper one... hehehe .

7- I planned our holidays - we managed to go to Madrid, Malaga, Tenerife, Istanbul, Washington and NY, hmmm tu je lah kot. Semua murah murah maaahhh

8- I took up sewing! favourite hobby is to buy kain murah murah from LauraAshley (2 pound je per metre) and also loads of remnants - but sad to say I suck at sewing.

But mainly--- I got pregnant!!!

And that, was a full time job ok.

So 7 years flew , really!

Hubby kept buying me suits at Sales you know, penuh harapan that I get a job. Although I don't think he minded being the traditional breadwinner and me the wife, mom and general cook . Well now that Im working at LAST, I kind of miss gak sometimes the surirumahtangga tau, handle the kids 247 and you have full control. But penat lah. I always tell ppl I go to work to rest.

Anyway I better go to do that work I tell you I have...! Tata!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

UK life- walk on memory lane

My husband's brother and family are going to the UK for a conference/holiday next month.

This has started my kids asking if we can "go along".


Mummy tak chap duit- I don't print money.


Daddy punya machine cap duit belum "on" betol betol lagi.

hee hee. I went in 1989, came back for chambering in 1993, went back in 1994, came home again end 1999. Have not been back since. Do I want to go back?

Our life in the UK post marriage was so very different from masa undergrads- of course lah kan. Masa undergrad kira "bodoh" lagi. I was lucky (?) to have had an auntie and uncle - mom's cousin - to keep an "eye" on me. It delayed my independent life a bit since I stayed with them and my auntie cooked etc- macam kat rumah kan? Only, I paid rent (and the tv license) .Takda bopren sampai lah my auntie balik Msia. Although she matched me with quite a few. Semua tak menepati kriteria (ie tak cute) hahahaha.

A week after we got married, we flew back. I dah got called to the Bar but did I care about my career? Heck no. I thought I could work in the uK anyway - nolah I didn't . I just wanted to go to the uK yayayay.

Selama we were there, Hubby was posted in various counties - Peterborough, Bedford, Chelmsford, Shrewsbury, Wordsley, Eastbourne etc, so dapat lah merasa duduk different parts, although never London. I pi London tu "perghak" sangat.macam ttourists kan.

Masa we all first sampai, inai merah di jari lagi, Hubby had to move from Peterborough to Bedford. Pandai dia, kawin dulu baru pindah so dapat lah bibik percuma. Tak yah pack hehehe.

We stayed in hospital accommodation throughout. We never thought about buying a house because we never planned how long we were going to be there. we had a rough idea that we were staying until hubby got his FRCS exams - his fellowship from the Royal College of surgeons. Supposedly 2 years tengok2- 6 years.

Bedford was a ONE bedroom flat on the 9th floor -belakang hospital. Kawasan paki ..biasa ler. Kedai ayam halal kat bawah je hah. Neighbour was an Iranian who kept giving me food. Semua foreign doctors di longgokkan kat hospital quarters. I look back upon those times, I was happy you know. Flat kecik, buruk, furniture entah apa apa, but we were together and we were happy.Bedford I learnt French for 10 weeks. For what I pun tak tau.

Chelmford was a terrace "house" (macam portacabin je) which had a fancy address - No 3, Pudding Wood Lane - sah macam Enid Blyton kan. The best thing was the apple orchard- hospital compound melambak apple trees- hari hari makan apple pie lah, ayam masak apple lah, ikan stim dengan apple lah. apple strudle lah apple crumble lah (sekarang makan apple pun jarang). Chelmsford was where I met Nivi, my dear friend who now lives in the US. We shared a lot of headaches together as both our husbands were taking their exams the same time. We went to computer classes together. We were at each other's house every day. Chelmsford produced Nadine..and hubby got his Part 1 exams also. Plus he had his detached retina there and I had to drive him to Moorfields hospital for his operation. Plus he had his hernia operation there which he almost did himself heee hee. he marked the site himself hee hee. We all jadi postgrad kat sana, to the East Anglia Uni kids- so raya kita masak, puasa kita masak.. walaupun tak reti masak, somehow kat sana jadi pandai. I buat sate from scratch. I know, I know. Hard to believe.

Shrewsbury was next. Nice...because generally wales memang lawa pun. And the town was very pretty. My brother jadik my van pindah - the hospital paid him . hee hee. My neighbour was Egyptian, anak dia nama Dalia. Tu yang I suka sangat nama dahlia. My friends were from Pakistan , India , and Australia. I am still friends with the Australian couple, although the family from Trinidad has sadly divorced. The husband was the one who was supposed to send me to the hospital to deliver Sara - in the end the Hungarian doctor down the road did that sebab tak sempat sangat. I didn't mind as I loved his Audi heheh. Of course our car crashed the week before. My mom was there. That hospital did not have apple trees but was lined with Cherry trees which the melayu doctors here (ok it was me) tak malu go and petik in front of everyone. Muka tebal betul. But it was fun! Our house was a link house depan field.

Then off we went to Wordsley, an hour from Brum- Birmingham .. tak berapa cantik sangat sebab industrial area kan. Hubby did plastic surgery there, so hari hari nampak ppl's breasts! And turn men into women and vice versa (apa nak di kato, kerja . We had Sophia there . wanted a boy but instead got a very adorable little chubby and pink girl. could not be happier. took a week to choose her "second" name, Adelina. I must say, I did not exactly like Wordsley although I started my Masters there in Environmental Law. Usah kau tanya what happened to it, ok. I passed the theory but the thesis masih lagi tak buat- er tak habis.

Hmm rumah rumah I semua nya buruk and takda lah baru... furniture pun macam lama..all supplied by hospital kan.. but we were happy! Sampai harini, our house macam tu style...barang tak da style, semua campur aduk...but I guess we are still happy!

Sorry lah membebel lama sangat....

Monday, October 20, 2008

(Alamak!!.lupa nak pergi rembau this week , every week kena put chlorine in the pool! This week the Kasim family- I passed to my brother to do, as I have ppl coming over...he came over to get the key and his daughter (who was with us) last Friday tapi he came very very late...I dah berdengkur dah kat atas and he left without the key ) - Phew- I called him - Nasib baik he managed to get key from someone else.

Anyway today is exam day for the kids. If you talk to Daya and Sophia, they only have exams in ART, Semalam lepas orang datang I had to go round 5 shops , in the rain, looking for

1. POster paint
2. Marker
3. Magic Ink
4. Paper

Bapak dia beli water colour,daaaah nangis si Dahlia sebab CIKGU THE ALL POWERFUL AND ALWAYS RIGHT , suruh beli POSTER kaler.

Naik HANGIN gak when I found out that the Art exams will not take place until like end of the exams and that their first subject is BM. Semua buat DONTKNOW je...semalam seronoknye tengok tv and main ps 2. Yesterday Johan said "I hope the exams will be easy". And I said of course it will cause you studied REALLY hard for it, kan????. Sigh...Sarcasm - it's lost on a 6 year old.

None of them have the sense to be panicky or to freak out ! Sara casually flicked through her BM tatabahasa book while drinking her milo. Heeeee apa nak jadi girls. I think I cannot just leter must GET A ROTAN. And sit there in front of them.

nadine pulak sekarang tak nak ikut pi jalan. She has tonnes of research to do. Boarding school looks like the best option for you lah Nadine...since kat rumah pun macam dah boarding ie, I don't see you. You are in the room 247 and reading or beranganing. kalau nak lepak dalam bilik might as well lipat baju or something. Ada gak gunanya. A generous relative offered to help get Nadine into boarding school. Dad and I are mulling it over. There is another local school which we heard is quite good- Lembah Keramat. Apparently they only have 40 5As kids ie 2 classes and they concentrate on these kids.

Tak leh lalai sikit lah dengan the kids ni, they take advantage of your slackness. No insight or self discipline. Not yet anyway.

But i think now we will lie low on the entertainment / going out side lah. Apa nak buat, raya kan. We take them to visit our friends etc. But I have to admit that their routine goes haywire ler. Tidor lambat, makan lambat etc. Of course they LOVE seing their cousins etc But time to settle down now.

What do we want them to be?? I want them to be intelligent kids with self awareness and self discipline and awareness of the less fortunate.. how? One idea is to get them to join clubs . or take them to orphanage. Also want them to be less conscious of race. I had a lot of friends who were chinese/indian and the fact that they were indian/chinese were "by the way" .

Actually banyak pulak idea once dah start thinking about it....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Better parenting needed

Help! Am having family over for a lunch tomorrow. Don't know what to cook. Is raya food still ok? Or should I go with nasi ayam/briani/lemak ?? Ms Hart do you CATER????

This morning am determined to do some family stuff. Semalam dapat complaint from Johan- youdont do anything. Tak habis habis budaktu lah! Dia ni belajar daripada mana ye? And Nadine said there is no difference in my coming home since I joined Uncle Haq PON!! Yah, Nadine but I leave at 10 in the morning I can't jolly well come home early TOO. That would fall under the category of having your cake and eating it too. And we DO do work and NOT chat all day long.

BUT! I take note of the comments. Come to think of it, these past few weeks we have not had any family activities like say...picnic ke or museum ke. It's been go to work come home nag homework/pray/mandi , and crash out at 9!! Seriously! No wonder depa memberontak.

So..before today's round of events start- and there are 3 of ours and 2 invites for the girls , we will go swimming or cycling.

Camana nak adopt ni..yang ada pun dok complaint je :-)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Something I heard on the Radio

I just heard on the radio that in Kangar a GIRL student had kicked a teacher in the tummy following the teacher's demand of an explanation for the word "Gila babi" found at the back of the student's folio.

What the hey???? A girl student? IN perlis??

I'm sure there is more to it than that..mungkin cikgu tu rude ke? Apa apa pun...KICK a TEACHER???

Anyway a PIBG guy also came on the radio to explain the various punishments that can be taken , which include caning and also expulsion.

I don't know. Will either repair the damage?

Caning- violent- may scare the girl for life and turn her life around. May on the other hand make her more resentful and be violent herself.

Expulsion- hmm I never agree with this because, if I was a bad student this would be a treat not a punishment ! Don't have to go to school? Yipeee!!

How about community service? Basuh tingkap sekolah ke, and also counselling? For this student who kicked her teacher in the stomach, caning,THEN Counselling AND cuci tingkap, ok tak..

Tu lah, gerun lah - gone are the days when you have the utmost respect for your teacher. if a teacher tells you 1+2 equals 5 , and your mom tells you the answer is 3, you would tell your mom she is WRONG and believe the teacher completely ek?? Those were the days, anyway. Now??

Is this development then...? :-)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Restarting the Gym

Yesterday we started gym - after a month break.

I didn't want to go initially, until after the Eid month is well and truly over. But hubby has been bitten by the exercise bug, he has been running and doing his exercises and he was keen to go. Come, he said. Aleem the personal trainer has called him to arrange for a session yesterday morning. No thanks, I said. But we have to go, he said. Ok, you go, I said. Send my regards to Aleem though.

20 mins later, a sulking me got into the car all fitted out and heading towards the gym. I was not talking to him and i was NOT happy. Big Bully. He was snickering.

So we arrived. first- 10 mins on the treadmill. Ok lah but boring . I tried to pass the time by looking at my shoes and plan the day ahead. (Pretty much how i get through other things too) - and then- the cross trainer- aiyahh that was hard as there are easy levels and it gets harder and then it goes back to easy. Aleem hovered around like a jealous girlfriend. Everytime he moved away I took a break. Hallo, it's BEEN a month.

Then, the weights- waaaaarggghh that was a killer. I had to do 20(dulu 30 before the break)- of the triceps and biceps - one exercise was to bend, and extend one arm backwards and lift weights at a 90degree - konon to work the tricep- but really to torture us. After that particular exercise, terus tak leh pegang benda, nak minum pun kena rest hand on palang.. heee hee

After every session of resistance training, we had to do 2 mins of cardio- running on the treadmill etc. Then the lifts up- this time knees bent, to one side, and do sit ups. Adoiii.

Since I was not speaking to my husband, I tak lah ask how he was doing but he was sweating profusely!! We continued not to talk to each other after that in the car..but that was more out of exhaustion- we both staggered out of the gym heh heh.. in the end I broke out laughing at him- tu lah action, ingat dah fit lah kot..boleh pi gym..sekali pengsan

harini ,masih aching hehehe But i am glad I went (don't tell him)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Korean Drama

I love Korean dramas- hehehe

Am watching Sweet 18, right now. Premise- a marriage was arranged between two men to marry their granddaughter and grandson to each other and therefore merge 2 old families. Problem- grandson is a successful prosecutor and his "bride to be" an 18 year old school girl who hates school and grasps at the chance to get married and escape having to think about college (been there, girl) . Prosecutor refuses to marry but grandfather ends up in hospital and so he reluctantly agrees. She just wants to get married because he happened to be a mysterious guy she had bumped into earlier and on whom she had a humongous crush. Both being very strong personalities of course they hate each other in the beginning..and then there's his first love cropping up from (whereelse) America , to reclaim him after she dumped him 5 years ago, and also there is his evil sister in law (who we all love in the end too- I know this because she was pretty) .Then they fall in love and took 2 more episodes to consummate their marriage - but once they decide to go for it they're like rabbits hehehehe. Koreans are apparently chaste!And they blush after everything romantic!

The plot is predictable but its so much fun to watch how it happens. The lady lead was NOT 18 but the way she played it, and her giggly friends, remind me of my teenage years (SO NOT) and the way she puts her hair up all the time when she is acting 18 and then brings it down when she feels grown up- hee hee..

Of course, if I let my brain talk it'll probably go- why is this girl not more ambitious? What an airhead? How can she let the guy patronise her like that- but my brain always shuts up during Korean dramas!

Am still wading through the episodes..I don't watch often but once I do, I get reeled in! No one can disturb me heheheh-

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A day of Makan

Phew !!!!! My tummy is ac=hing..

One wedding- Amila, tahniah, now begins a new chapter of life- and don't forget the old chapters!

One open house - Auntie and Uncle Aton sorry had to dash off before the lamb siap- I was sooo tempted to stay as the aroma was tooo nice.but patients beckoned...

and...An hour wait for Hubby in the car at PCMC.

Second open house- sorry makzah we were v late. Your nasi bukhara was very nice.

Last open house- sorry M we were extra extra late.but glad that we could have extra extra long chats...Thanks very much.

Now, have heartburn..
he heh heh

Friday, October 10, 2008


My husband is a magician.

I have been nagging the kids to do their revision e-ve-ry day

No one pays the slightest attention.

Daddy went to Giant, came home with an armful of revision books, wrote a long note to the kids saying " MY dearest children, NO TV, DVD or Computer games until AFTER the exams." and then listing down the pages that they have to do- and guess what

They do it. Religiously. They call me asking me what page to do next. Then Daddy marks the paper.

And Johan's answers crack us up. Tick a healthy breakfast- he ticks "Instant Noodles".

Hope this continues. Mummy allows 30 mins TV times - ya right kiddoes I was not born yesterday.. I have a sneaky suspiscion the work starts half an hour before you think we are coming home..betol tak????

hehehhehe..takpalah. as long as you are revising. exams on the 20th...ok??

Oh yes - also to say GOOD LUCK AMILA YASMIN my cousin who is getting married in oh abt 5 hours time. we'll see you soon.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008


I'm listening to "Terimakasih cinta" by Afgan . The guy sounds like a really good and accomplished R&B singer, but looks like he's in Form 4. Seriously, with his glasses and his wiry frame, tak sangka he can sing like that. Once i figure out how to upload the vid, I'll show you what I mean.

Ah youth. My kids come home reciting long long surahs which they learn at school . They have memorised this by heart. Kita ni dah lupa dah and susahnye nak learn again. Now, they should also learn the meanings of the ayat-ayat. This morning for once the pakcik did not wait more than 5 mins. Usually macam princesses, laaamaaa buat pakcik tunggu. Hope the extra we pay him will make up for it.

We are thinking of sending Nadine to normal nonpaying sekolah kebangsaan. Yani was saying, haaa be prepared lah to listen to the lorat pegawais at the Kementerian Pelajaran when they find out you are transferring your child out of a private school to govt school. Sure have comments like - haa tak leh bayar or wat, Biarler, they are not the parents and anyway they all JELES hahaha If only they know that we are dumping whatever we have into our kids and there goes my LV and my Gucci hehehehe. At least if Nadine goes into sekolah kebangsaan she gets more racial intergration as well as a shot at the scholarship/loan. However husband is adamant and I must say I agree, not to apply for scholarship if we can afford to send her ourself. I do not want to be depriving any miskin kid of a chance to go study pulak.

Ok merepek pagi ni..see you soon.

Ok talk to you later.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Ho Hum....

Takda mood kerja kan...

Kids liat betul nak bangun this morning. Johan pun teary, which is a sure fire way of getting my husband annoyed with him. Nadine of course was the last to leave the house- APA BENDA yang dia buat dalam bilik tu haaa??

The maid went about her work the usual way as if she did not come back at 2 in the morning, grappling with the huge loads of clothes that we have washed and hung over the weekend - tak kering kering- perhaps time to get a dryer, eh.

I cooked macaroni stew before I left for work-

(I dumped jintan manis and cinnamon and one can of tomato puree and a dash of barbecue sauce, and pepper, poured in the macaroni and chicken and left it to stew, with a prayer).

Every weekend this month is going to be full with visiting...every day ada at least 4 invites. So nice to see old friends again but we have to put the sedara and opahs/atoks first I'm afraid. Next week pulak, my cousin is getting married. Pink purple theme..The end of the month another cousin is getting married. Apple Green. Takda baju baru ..pakai je lah apa yang ada..

I called the adoption place...terperanjat gak dia to hear that I have 5 kids and looking for one more. I don't suppose they get a lot of those types of calls. Anyway she said the baby boy has been taken but she will keep us in mind although she said priority will be given to the childless couples lah. She asked- confirmed you are interested? I said- yes confirmed (god help me)

Ho hum...boring.

How to help

Someone I love very much is facing marital troubles. She is facing it alone and will not confide in anyone and neither will her family. As far as the world is concerned, everything is hunky dory. She has never acted in any other way but as the perfect wife and mom and daughter in law. However the husband is acting as if he is mr bachelor of 2008. and sometimes we hear "news" from other third parties as to their status- eeee seboknye . We always defend and say the truth which is- ntah? tak tau??? (What to do thats the truth) I hear the big D being mentioned by those who think they are in the "know". Everytime I hear that I get all defensive and say - eh leave it alone mate, how you know.

Whatever it is I hope this person finds her happiness soon - such a nice and pretty person deserves years of rainbow and not melancholy. Don't lah waste any more of your youth if its not meant to be ok. If it is, well that is for you to judge and no one else. Tak berani nak offer my shoulder but it's here if you need it.


Sunday, October 05, 2008

Something to think of

The Accident and the Maid.

My maid is still in Batu Pahat at the agent's house (did I tell you her cousin was also there)...she was supposed to come back with the agent but then the agent's relatives were involved in a horrible traffic accident in Kahang and they all went to see the injured in ICU or something and now my maid may come back late tonight.

My reaction - on the one hand , mygod this is a horrible thing to happen and I hope that the relatives get well soon . On the other hand- you are so not going back to see any relative mak nenek etc without a definite way of coming back, woman. or at all lah, come to think of it. I am vacuuming mopping and washing up ok maid oi. On the other other hand, it's good once in a while to do housework after leaving it so long in the hands of a domestic...dah mengada-ngada. Kids are discovering that a mommy doing housework is a grumpy mommy indeed. I have 4 girls ok so I intend to train them in the arts of sweeping etc . At the moment I'd be grateful if they can just pick up their dirty laundry and put in the dirty laundry bin.

UPdate- she just came back- 2.00 am. Apa lah dia sembur kat I ye, I could not rasa marah langsung.. Tapi nanti I will tolak her gaji...haaaaaa... dont pray pray wiv me ok (habis garang lah ni- sheesh im so pathetic)

Expanding the Family the Instant Way

Second thingy- we went to a friend's house for raya yesterday and she said there is a baby for adoption now , about 1 week old, 2kg and a boy, do we want it.

Immediate reaction- yes we do.

2 minutes later- yes we do but ohmygod can we afford it, should we do it? We allready have 5. Spoken to this friend's sister (who by the way was a very famous tv personality and time seems to have stood still for her in terms of her looks, she is still that pretty as she was 20 years ago) and she did the adopting thingy and she said go for it. We have so much love to give a child and the child would not be deprived of his natural parents, he would just get another set- us!

We allready thought of names for it, Farid /Iskandar/ Najmi /Faris etc (Sophia suggested Michael or Eddie- er no lah kot. She also kept calling him our step brother and I said not in your life ok will you have a step brother! Husband gelak je) and we said - let's consult the ultimate voice of reason- my mom. So off we went to my mom's house and she said - Besar kan yang ada tu and when the children are bigger , baru adopt. That sounds very reasonable except I want this child to grow up with mine. there are pros and cons of raising someone else's child but for my husband and I , we want to raise him as one of ours, and even though biologically we are different, in all other aspects he will be ours. What happens when he grows up is Allah's will. I guess we should be prepared for him to resent us or the fact that he does not know his family (but we can always keep that line open for him so he knows he has another family. But THAT family is only his biological family and THIS Family is the one who bercengkang mata jaga him) ...I hope the family we give him , the life we give him, the education I hope we can give him, all will be fantastic enough for him not to resent us later. and anyway what guarantee do we have that our biological chimd will not do the same? As parents we have to just berdoa that all our children howsoever we came to be blessed with them, will love us and know that we love them till their dying days and of course, LOOK AFTER US. (yaaaahhh payback time kids!!!)

Dad said jangan ikut think of the child not of what you want.

Hubby said, we will be giving this child what he would not get otherwise. And he has so much to give us too (like headaches and sleepless nights and extra costs- mahal oi!!)

So we are thinking about it some more... We all slept at Opah's house (my late grandma) - the last time I stayed the night there was ooohh 20 years ago. It was fun for the kids tidor rumah papan and they all berlari gedegang gedegung on the papan floor. Breakfast was served by my lovely auntie !

Now we are at home, thinking some more. Thinking, and hanging the clothes and doing laundry.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Raya Journal

Hi...we are back in KL..

Our raya was ..hectic but fun.


We set off for Johor 2 days behind schedule - hubby rupanye on call on Monday. We left at 1pm on Tuesday and only arrived at 10 pm. Apparently there was an accident on the Seremban highway and so my husband decided to go through the small towns of Seremban etc - which annoyed me no end with all the traffic lights and the lorries and the roadworks! Buka puasa kat Kedai BigGreen (daun pisang) in Seremban- jadiklah. Moral of the story- stick to the highway kids.
Although, on the highway you get ppl who think that you should not be on the fast lane unless you are doing 160kmperhour- these jerks and idiots are those ppl who'd be flashing their lights at us, doing a respectable 120kmh and chugging along- and then keeeep flashing the lights at us until we give way even though we were going to do that as soon as we over take the bus/lorry ahead of us. Geram as I think its rather rude to flash someone. Or tailgate them. Kalau merc ok lagi, ni kancil pun ada!

As we were the first ones to arrive, we had the chance to help out mak and dad get the house ready for Raya. Thank goodness I took the maid as we both could help mak with the cooking. She is a real superwoman - she was cooking all night!

Program first day raya was - pakai baju cantik and then sit around heheheh. We did go and visit next door neighbour Noya and her family. Discovered Noya was related to my ex partner Zain - eee smallworld nye. I'm going to disprove the theory that UK grads don't help each other out by meeting with her this Wednesday to see how we can work together.

Kluang- Batu Pahat- Sepri, Rembau

Ok this trip was to send my princessmaid to her agent's mom's house where her cousin is also staying . I thought it was on the way to Rembau rupanye dengan jam nye, dengan single lane nye etc , JAUH and by the time she was dropped off, I was seething - because we were supposed to be in Rembau by 2. Ada sesi bergambar and sesi minta maaf with all 14 of our uncles and aunties and the children. Of course we were going to miss that.

We arrived at the KAMPUNG TANJUNG TERAP , Ulu Sepri, Rembau, to go past old houses and abandoned paddy fields and go through estates. When we got there all my cousins were by the pool barbecuing. The party was in full swing and the uncles were all sitting around chatting. The pool was amazingly clean and swimmable- everyone chipped in to pay for someone to come clean. Lepas ni kena pikir sapa nak balik kampung to maintain the pool lak- every 4 days kena letak chlorrine katanye.

Yang bestnye this Raya, is not just all my cousins got together, anak auntie Yan I, yang lama dah tak balik, balik also- 2 of them. The rift started when the father took another wife, and never properly repaired. So the fact that my cousins from 1st branch came over was very meaningful to us.

Another miracle is the children of my dad's kakakangkat cum cousin, who for more than a decade had snubbed my dad's family, turned up at the house too! I tell you I have not seen them for 10 years walhal rumahnye about 5 houses down je. They used to stay at my kampung house (which belonged to my grandparents) for years and years. The mother was brought up as my dad's sister until the actual sister was born. They had a lot of children and everytime we go back to kampung they would welcome us and we were pretty close. Suddenly when they came into some money (thanks to LabuSendayan Felda Settlement ) they moved into a big bungalow and turned my dad and uncles away. NO one knows why . This was of course very hurtful. So the fact that the children of this auntie of mine came with their children (I have never met them) was very fitting for Raya and forgiveness. If I wanted to be cynical, I'd think it was because their mom was now sick and they wanted to see my husband for medical advice . BUT! Let's not be cynical and let's hope the rift will slowly heal.

I myself have a cousin who had not joined us for the last 10 years. I told the parents I have no idea what she looks like and she had better join us the next time the Sudin clan meets. The Sudin clan now has money , ok and we are a proper group. heheheheh.

the next day was mihoon day - and we handed over duit raya to all the uncles and aunties- alahai we all collected sikit sikit - each dapat cheto'et je...tapi meaningful lah sebab dari anak sedara.... then we took loads of family pics and then I finally got to jump in the pool. (the night before penuh)

Penat lah jugak sebab kena kemas rumah - semua orang started to go off one by one....tinggal my parents and 2 uncles.

But..puas hati lah.

How was YOUR raya??

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...