Something to think of

The Accident and the Maid.

My maid is still in Batu Pahat at the agent's house (did I tell you her cousin was also there)...she was supposed to come back with the agent but then the agent's relatives were involved in a horrible traffic accident in Kahang and they all went to see the injured in ICU or something and now my maid may come back late tonight.

My reaction - on the one hand , mygod this is a horrible thing to happen and I hope that the relatives get well soon . On the other hand- you are so not going back to see any relative mak nenek etc without a definite way of coming back, woman. or at all lah, come to think of it. I am vacuuming mopping and washing up ok maid oi. On the other other hand, it's good once in a while to do housework after leaving it so long in the hands of a domestic...dah mengada-ngada. Kids are discovering that a mommy doing housework is a grumpy mommy indeed. I have 4 girls ok so I intend to train them in the arts of sweeping etc . At the moment I'd be grateful if they can just pick up their dirty laundry and put in the dirty laundry bin.

UPdate- she just came back- 2.00 am. Apa lah dia sembur kat I ye, I could not rasa marah langsung.. Tapi nanti I will tolak her gaji...haaaaaa... dont pray pray wiv me ok (habis garang lah ni- sheesh im so pathetic)

Expanding the Family the Instant Way

Second thingy- we went to a friend's house for raya yesterday and she said there is a baby for adoption now , about 1 week old, 2kg and a boy, do we want it.

Immediate reaction- yes we do.

2 minutes later- yes we do but ohmygod can we afford it, should we do it? We allready have 5. Spoken to this friend's sister (who by the way was a very famous tv personality and time seems to have stood still for her in terms of her looks, she is still that pretty as she was 20 years ago) and she did the adopting thingy and she said go for it. We have so much love to give a child and the child would not be deprived of his natural parents, he would just get another set- us!

We allready thought of names for it, Farid /Iskandar/ Najmi /Faris etc (Sophia suggested Michael or Eddie- er no lah kot. She also kept calling him our step brother and I said not in your life ok will you have a step brother! Husband gelak je) and we said - let's consult the ultimate voice of reason- my mom. So off we went to my mom's house and she said - Besar kan yang ada tu and when the children are bigger , baru adopt. That sounds very reasonable except I want this child to grow up with mine. there are pros and cons of raising someone else's child but for my husband and I , we want to raise him as one of ours, and even though biologically we are different, in all other aspects he will be ours. What happens when he grows up is Allah's will. I guess we should be prepared for him to resent us or the fact that he does not know his family (but we can always keep that line open for him so he knows he has another family. But THAT family is only his biological family and THIS Family is the one who bercengkang mata jaga him) ...I hope the family we give him , the life we give him, the education I hope we can give him, all will be fantastic enough for him not to resent us later. and anyway what guarantee do we have that our biological chimd will not do the same? As parents we have to just berdoa that all our children howsoever we came to be blessed with them, will love us and know that we love them till their dying days and of course, LOOK AFTER US. (yaaaahhh payback time kids!!!)

Dad said jangan ikut nafsu..ie think of the child not of what you want.

Hubby said, we will be giving this child what he would not get otherwise. And he has so much to give us too (like headaches and sleepless nights and extra costs- mahal oi!!)

So we are thinking about it some more... We all slept at Opah's house (my late grandma) - the last time I stayed the night there was ooohh 20 years ago. It was fun for the kids tidor rumah papan and they all berlari gedegang gedegung on the papan floor. Breakfast was served by my lovely auntie !


Now we are at home, thinking some more. Thinking, and hanging the clothes and doing laundry.

Comments

hi mommy, this is kak ngah... are u really gonna adopt?? please,pleaseplease...
hahah :P
Anonymous said…
I wish i have you and your husband's courage. I think you know yourself that you have so much love to give and i'm sure the kid will have a better brighter future ahead of him with your family. Org kita banyak sangat pantang larang nya, but i think we can only pray and hope for the best...the rest, Allah saja yang mengetahui. I say, go for it!
wanshana said…
Shila,

It's a huge decision to make, and you'll have to think of everything and everyone who might be involved and affected by whatever decision you come to.

Some say that adopting boys would be less complicated (emotionally) when they're grown up nanti, but some say taking care of girls would be easier. Wallahua'lam...

At the end of the day BOTH you and Jab should REALLY sit down and look at every angle and situation which you guys might face in adopting the boy - from Day 1 until he's all grown up. As long as BOTH of you agree 100% to the same decision, by all means, follow that decision. Follow your heart.

You guys have so much love to give, and you alone will know deep inside what decision you guys want to make.

Whatever it is, May Allah bless you and Jab for your good hearts. Amin.

Pahala menjaga anak angkat amatlah besar sekali, sebesar amanah yang dipikul dalam membesarkan anak tersebut.

All the best, dear.
Madam Tai Tai said…
Hi Shila,

Wah...I salute you for wanting to expand your family. You have so much maternal love to give lah, woman!

Pikir2 cukup ya.. I don't want to advice nor suggest. I'm sure you guys would make a sound decision on this matter.
Madam tai tai

ahahaaaa i know what your real reaction is- ya allah this woman tak cukup ke 5???? heheheheh....ya its mad, I know. We are STILL thnking over it
Hi Shana!

You are right..there are so many aspects and angles to think of..must not be rash..camana Angelina Jolie tu buat I wonder, sorang cina sorang black , selambak je...yalah otoh, they are not muslims and no issue abt amanah and muhrim and tanggungjawab etc. Berat tu, amanah. Jab said- on !I'lllet you know. God. a new born at our age?
Anonymous - Hi.

I love that you say go for it and yes sometimes we can overthink something kan...but I think for us, even though we'd think it over, its something we WILL do, only a question of when..
tireless mom said…
Hi Shila

You have all my respects. You are right to think that tak cukup 5 ke? Because that is what I am thinking. Don't you want to beranak lagi as opposed to adopt? You are still young and I am sure with Jab's and the kids' support to have another biological one is peanuts lah. Don't rush into decision making. If you do, I am all for it dear, memang besar pahala dan tanggungjawabnya.
MrsNordin said…
Both of you have been talking about this for sometime now. And I think you REALLY can't wait to take him in. But yes, like everyone else said, give it some more thought. The child won't go anywhere (I presume)

I think, you all ni berangan nak jadi Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt, kut! Ha! Ha! Hey, but if you have the means and energy for another one, why not.

You always told me (whenever I mentioned my dilemma of wanting to have another child), "Just do it lah, BJ!" coz I know you love children. But now when it's your turn to decide the same, it's not that easy, kan?

Whatever it is, I know you and Jab will raise the adopted one the same like how you raise the others. Nordin's uncles have adopted a few (alongside their own children) and they all turned out well. No difference, except orang lain will always mentioned that "Oh, yang itu anak angkat.." sampai sekarang. It's the orang lain yang akan set the difference, you won't.
hi tireless mom....nak have another one can ke lagi...the factory is old allready hehehehe...
mrsnordin..thanks for your comments..Unfortunately,the boy is now "taken"...but next time lah...i spoke to the lady concerned and she said there will be an opportunity for us to adopt even though priority will be given to the childless couple.
Anonymous said…
wow shiela this is NEWS !!!! let us know ok wht happend !!!

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