Musings

You know the expression "Forgive and forget"?

Or the dialogue- I forgive you but I will never forget?

Usually applying to some heinous crime or some unforgiveable hurt done by one person to another.

How nice it would be if we can just - forget.

No need to forgive lah, just forget. Or alternatively, remember more. More of the good stuff - so that the good memories we have with that person who hurt us, can overcome the bad memories.

Sometimes we cling to these wrongs very jealously , not willing to let them go and bringing it up whenever say, we need to do something nice that involves that person. We may say- yah, but the other day so and so was so rude to me, so why shoulld I help her now? Weapon maah...

You may well be justified, that person may well have been rude/etc etc to you but.what are you going to do about it? Takkan nak bergaduh or berdendam sampai tua? silaturrahim is very important isn't it.

In a family trying to sort out the estate of a loved mother/father who has gone , for example, more often than not, it's not that it cannot be done, it's that the siblings refuse to get things done - reason? So and so has done something wrong, Or, so and so should be the one to do this and that, because he was the one holding the title/account book/pension book. Hurt feelings, suspicions etc, fester the longer the estate is not sorted out so that one kain batik missing pun can be an issue kan??

That's the problem sometimes, we have too long a memory. And in the meantime, things don't move.

Another thing is the ranking. kakak tua cannot lah apologise to adek. adek lak, refuse to do the same. How? When will the issue get resolved?

Tu lah, sometimes, it'd be nice if we can forget a bit more.

not forgive, but forget.

Comments

Madam Tai Tai said…
Shila,

It is much easier to forgive than to forget. The memory card in the brain tu refused to be infected with virus...so unless you have an accident and have permanent loss of memory, then I guess it will be possible to forget and forgive.

As for harta pusaka, memang susah nak selesaikan kalau adik-beradik atau saudara-mara yg bergaduh or terkecik hati. Best thing is for parents either not to leave any harta pusaka (so their children can be financially independent and not harap duit dari harta pusaka) or prepare a will when they are still alive. Tak kecoh mcm tu.
HI MTT - am so looking forward to seing you and happy birthday in advance.

Anyways - you are right., its NOT easy to forget. Forgive while not forgetting tu, is basically getting on with your life accepting the wrong ler kan.

Harta pusaka- issshhh so frustrating. because senget senget ni, terus tak leh buat apa.
mumsie said…
i'd stick with forgiving but not forgetting, thank you very much! its more...satisfying! :-))
Hi mumsie...yeah, it is! But tu lah, when the feud is dragged so long, you wish that everyone would just forget and start again.

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