I'm not paranoid really.
Why is it when girls meet the subject of men alwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays come up kan.
I mean, when we were in our teens the subject matter would be that cute guy in class A/B/C or even in that other boarding school. Or the guy to whom you have been writing to for the last 2 or 3 years (and who either you now ignore, or you married, or you remain good friends , or whose whereabouts you are not sure of, or who you surreptiously ask about from mutual friends)
Then at uni, its more of the same really. It's about which guys within the meagre collection available to us at uni, could we possibly date. Ha ha ha...The gorgeous guys all either have girlfriends, or has the hots for your auntie/cousin/best friend, or are at OTHER universities. The guys who fancied YOU are those who you look upon as brothers. The guys YOU fancy are all definitely NOT interested. If you are lucky god makes you fall for the guy who is right for you eventually.
Then you marry, then what happens...when you meet, the subject of husbands come up.Early on its how they maybe are not romantic enough, or how they don't take care of the kids or how broke you two are....and how he is struggling on in his job etc etc. No real insecurities there I don't think , no worries about 20 year old tarts because you still are in your 20s and it doesn't sound that young to you.
Then you hit the 40s...then the story becomes either your guy has strayed, or will stray, or you are worried about them straying, or they have strayed and have gone, or they have strayed, have gone but have come back. You talk about how "Girls nowadays"don't really care whether your guy has got a wife and a paunch or a dozen kids or even huge debts, "they" flirt with your husbands like there's no tomorrow ("alaaaaaaa, jangan lah macam ni, Bang/Boss/Mr X Y Z" hehehehe) and let's face it. our husbands would be total kayu and feelingless if they don't at least ENJOY the flirting. I mean, some one said I was comel yesterday and I was thrilled to bits! Granted, it was only the Mc D counter girl at KLCC and she was a girl although she was butch,but it was such a cheap thrill. Imagine if some girl came up to me (and I was the aforesaid 40s guy with the dozen kids) and smiled and laughed at all my jokes and never once reminded me to go get another tank of gas for the kitchen, or settle the kids' fees, I would definitely "layan" or entertain that girl! How can I , the wife, not understand that?
Because, as fantastic as chocolates gets, indulging in it is NOT GOOD. While to the guy its nothing, to the girl on the other hand, who knows. Joking around can lead to real feelings. And the other girl's perspective is- she deserves love and happiness too and if this is her ahem- jodoh, why not. As long as she doesn't have to see the other first wife, she can pretend she's the only one what.
If you listen to me you would definitely think I constantly live in fear of some tart taking my gorgeous husband away. And that I harrass him all the time. Its not like that at all. I know how he feels about me, and I know how solid it is. But I also am wide awake to the fact that he is surrounded by other ppl who may like him the way I do too and fall for his blur humour. Dia pun miang gak when around these young girls (you are, honey, I've seen you) and gelak gelak ha ha ha. Melayan laaa entah apa apa. Takkan I nak censor kot. I mean, that's him. To me lah miang, to him itsbeing friendly mah. To those girls? Who knows maybe ada yang simpan hati? karang tau tau ,sangkut, kan padah ...Mula mula discuss work then discuss personal problems . Mula mula tanya pasal patient lepas tu tanya dah makan dah ke? Haa apa hal?
But no lah, inshallah. But if the unsangkarable happens, I pray I can just shrug and say- "oh well! That was a lovely SIXTY (ha ha!) years of marriage !I have to be grateful for that 60 years! The good thing is, I had him when he was virile and now you can take the burden of having to wait on him hand and foot and I can go off with the merc and stay with my kids in the States " - hahahahahah!
Tulah...I will now sit back and enjoy the ride with the husband and the family . However! to any drug reps/nurses/staff/secretaries/toll girls/restaurant waitresses/etc etc that my husband talks to and who may have heart - ROAARRRRRRR....!!!