Me and My daughter

Saya sedang mengalami sedikit masalah komunikasi dengan anak dara saya yang tua

Or- How the heck do I talk to my eldest daughter????

She keeps wanting to go off by herself. Wherever we go, she will invariably ask if she can do something else, usually something that involves going off by herself. usually harmless things lah like, if we were in Shop A she will want to go to Shop B across the mall, etc etc. She often ask if she can walk around our residential area, unaccompanied. I told her she can go with the maid and everyone (side effect- now the maid knows how to go off by herself. Yesterday i had a small heart attack when I came back to find no one at home- maid had gone off alone to the park (kids were with me) and decided to just take a breather. She's 4o plus so how do I tell her to stay indoors or in the compound of the house but I have told her of the dangers etc etc...degilnyaaa!!! but on the other hand I am not your jailor..next time don't do it again but if you do feel v stifled pls call me to tell me first CAN OR NOT - that is just common courtesy to the owners of the house you live in!]

I am running out of breath to say no...its not safe...what if you get kidnapped...what if someone calls you...what if someone pushes you into a lift....or into a car... I did not spend my time at the hospital giving birth to you for nothing, young lady!

Mummy you are so boring....so over protective...of course lah I know how to take care of myself....I am 14 allready..I won't do anything stupid! - is her argument.

Yesterday was the last straw. She said she had a birthday party at A&W. She did not know this but her friends
idea was just to lepak lepak at the mall, going bowling and later karaoke. The entire family sent her and then we just hung around waiting for her . I did not like it but since she was there, did not feel that I could say no in front of her friends. Credit though to her, she was not too happy with the lepakking ..and soon came back to us. I mean. this is the time you need to feel your family is overprotecting you...better than me neglecting you Nadine...or not caring what the heck you do or where the heck you go..right or not. Oh mygawd the first time I stepped into a mall I was 18 and I had Auntie Zu

So please. let me keep you under my care (or bawah ketiak mummy)for just a little bit longer. Soon you will be FORCED to go to that grocery shop to buy stuff, believe you me. But not , whether you like it or not, now.



Comments

MHB said…
my not-quite-11-year old is showing teenager tendencies already! sigh

bebudak adni nak gi karaoke?? I understand if they go with their families but all by themselves??
ummi365 said…
shiela.. i know it's tough to handle .. i went thru it too... i dont have any advise to give you.. but just be yourself.. insyaallah one day she will understand.
ini lah ragam anak remaja.shila..and theres many more to come...dont worry..ada banyak lagi yang boleh buat you dapat heart attack...hahaha

Akak pun siang siang lagi dah buat law..tak boleh keluar sesuka hati sebelum habis sekolah...ini mandatori..kalau nak keluar pi mall..ok tapi dengan kakak2 nya atau abang,,or with us..u can bring yr friend along...pilih saja sapa yang you nak pilih...
Our kids fikir mereka ni pandai jaga diri...orang kat luar tu semua baik baik...kalau lah semua baik2 tak kan ada lah kes colek anak orang berluasa sekarang ni...pemikiran anak anak ni tak jauh..tau nak seronok jer...

Banyak pulak cakap kat sini...hahaha
jana said…
Salam puan Sheila,
Anak saya yang semua lelaki pun susah saya nak bagi keluar,inikan pula perempuan,sekarang ni mangsa benda-benda tak baik ni bukan kira lelaki ke perempuan,semua kawan-kawan anak saya tahu yang anak saya maknya garang tapi takpalah pada saya segarang-garang saya adalah garang yang orang tua-tua kata garang yang bertempat.Biar satu hari nanti mereka tahu juga apa yang kita buat ini adalah untuk kebaikkannya mereka juga.Tapi betullah dulu-dulu kalau mak kita kata tak boleh maka titiklah jawapannya.Tiada soal jawab lagikan
Hi Ummi365...I will try..kadang kadang menguji kesabaran gak.. as long as we can still talk to each other I hope she appreciates the reasoning behind it
Salam Kak Eja! banyak saya kena belajar dari you nih....lambat laun i kena lepaskan tapi i tak nak lah jadi budak budak yang tak tentu hala jalan kat mall, takda orang teman or ada boys . ... kita tengok pun kita tanya gak kan mak bapak dia ni mana...kan kan??
salam Jana....ye lah...dulu mak kata itu , itulah..muncung lah banyak mana, still tak boleh...

now dia orang dapat macam macam, tv pun banyak channel..so I think they try lah ask for extras... the answer is always no...kadang kadang i heran kenapa you nih ashik tanya je buat I penat je jawab.kot kot challenge agaknya, he he
Cik Puan Kamil said…
Salam. Please tell your daughter last year a 17 year old was almost kidnapped ! And since recently banyak cerita budak2 kena kidnap (failed but still....) keluar paper,tell her to be patient. When she turns 40 then she can do as she pleases... Well at least that is what I tell my kids... !

Good luck !
MA said…
My daughter is (going to be) 16 and she is not allowed to hang out with her friends unaccompanied by an adult (read : any parent). Full stop. Non negotiable.


Open houses (raya) and birthday parties I will send to the door step and pick up from the door step. All that with supervision of the hostess' parents.


But I would explain to her lah of course why such regimented rules are applied and why she should be thankful that I, as the parent are very concerned and caring enough to ensure that she is safe all the time. Eventual freedom will be given in phases relatively by shown maturity and projected responsible attitude.


Otherwise, she is not allowed to go out until she is 35!


Kids, teenagers especially will always try to push their boundaries. Macam main online game. Once they manage to breach one level, they will try to hit the next one until we parents cave in.


Good luck to all of us, parents to modern teenagers!
MHB - sorry this reply is late! Yah..bebudak Adni nih.....tulah why the teachers keep stressing that its a team effort...mengingat kan I ni....sometimes even if the environment at school is very NuzulAlQuran, if the environment at home is very Highschoolmusical takjadik jugakkk

But Im not against meeting up..just against hanging out in malls macam takda dah orang kesah about your whereabouts. ! Tu lah pasal boring dia kat I..hehehe
CikPuan..ohmygawd I bet that 17 year old girl thought she could look after herself too huh. If I talk to Nadine she would be nodding sagely..faham mummy...but then she would still ask later!
MA! 35?? So young??

Nadine dulu actually got lost when she was 6. I took some matsalleh friends lalu Melaka and we stopped by the beach, then the lady nak gi toilet and bawak my daughter. Rupanya my daughter turned back halfway and minah blur ni biar kan dia balik. Budak tu missed the car and terus jalan entah mana mana. I dah nak teriak dah cause I had no idea where to look for her. Last last ada orang hantar dia NAIK KERETA ok..cause nampak the commotion around the car and guessed she must be the one lost. I dok pikir if that car had taken her elsewhere mana dah I nak carik dia.

That is what haunts me all this time, that feeling when she got lost.

Dengar tu Nadine!

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