Firdaus...

By now, some of you would have read about Firdaus. He walked out of my house 2 weeks ago and we haven't seen him since. This is the longest time he has gone.

Let me tell you about Firdaus.... This has been a blog post I have never wanted to write..ever. I had hoped that his condition would improve, and that he will get better.

I first met Firdaus in Nottingham., his name means paradise, doesn't it. ..I had just started dating his brother and he had arrived from Malaysia to do his A levels in Fettes College in Scotland. Wow.. a good school, Tony Blair's school- He was fair, pretty and quiet. although not sombong.I would see him quite often in Notts, and he became friends with our friends, DadofSix and Kitchenguardian included. I learnt that he was his mother's favourite . He was also the champion qari (quran reciter) for either the school or the state at one time.

Then he did his Alevels. I heard he was quite badly sick in Scotland- the teacher called hubby (mr hot bf at the time and not mr paunchy husband yet ha ha) and said that something was not right with Firdaus..He came back to Notts and stayed a while. He did do his Alevels and he got 2As and a B, fantastic results by anyone's standard (by mine, certainly) but not to do Medicine in UK..so he got admitted into pharmacy in Cardiff...and being there, we saw him settled with his malaysian housemates...

Then we got a call to say Daus was behaving weirdly..we went to fetch him. We were married then and to cut a long story short, it was believed that he was having a breakdown because he wanted to do medicine instead..so the JPA people helped him get admitted into Galway University in Ireland and off he went to do his first year....

And he did brilliantly well..best student in first semester...but soon we had another call. This time from a doctor in Galway. He had been sectioned. He came home to us (we were in Essex then) and my in laws came over. Time to bring him back to Malaysia...he had been hearing people talking about him behind his back , he said.Classic paranoia complex.

Zoom to now..he's 38..his future that was so promising, is gone. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and has seen countless doctors, with countless visits. Plus countless medication. His father was, until very recently, the only one he would listen to in terms of medication. He once told me he hated to eat the medication because of the side effects. This was before, when he was still talking. He stopped years ago about the time we admitted him into the MentalHealth Hospital. He didn't say a word after that. Is he angry with us?

I'm sorry, is this an embarrassing post to write? Is there a stigma? I asked my husband, do you think this will hurt your career. having a sick brother? He said categorically NO. He doesn't care. In fact he spent 4 hours yesterday walking along the roads of TTDI looking for him. Firdaus didn't ask for his fate..

Now all of us are very worried about him. Makan apa, minum apa, mandi tak, dah lah specs pecah sebelah. We hope someone will be kind enough to feed him and take care of him wherever he goes....

Please, if you do see a lanky, thin, man, walking around, call us - Shila 0126356546.

Thanks!


Comments

Cik Puan Kamil said…
She will be all right, Insya-Allah.
kay_leeda said…
There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Semua nya qada' & qadar Tuhan. InshaAllah, Daus will be fine. Have you gone to do the missing person report yet?
Anonymous said…
Thanks cpk.....harap sangat dapat jumpa dia and soon!!
Anonymous said…
Kay.. Yelah.. Ada orang think this is buka pekong didada...tapi what to doooo
Anonymous said…
Shila,

That's life kan..sedih I baca..Hope you all find him soon. Take Care!

Jah
LifeBloom said…
InsyaAllah, continue berdoa. I heard from a well known ustaz that reading the Yassin and berdoa supaya apa yang hilang dapat dikembalikan everytime we reach the phrase "mubin" can work. I have never tried it myself but maybe boleh ikhtiar insyaAllah.

Nothing to be embarassed - all I can see is so much love and concern of a SIL here. We are all tested - in myriad ways and forms. Allah SWT knows best and to Him we seek comfort and guidance.

Take care and hope that he will be found soon and in the meantime - good and kind souls are looking after him. InsyaAllah.
Hi Jah, thanks very much.I need the CSI ha ha
Lifebloom....thanks very much.Thats our doa lah...semoga ada ramai orang yang take care of him..rasa nak tampar je firdaus ni pun ada gak tau tak..geram sebb buat semua orang risau..pas tu campur dengan rasa risau yangamat and over all, a very huge harapan that whatever it is, he is found soon.
MrsNordin said…
I never knew he was a brilliant student, just like his brother. I hope he will be alright, no matter where he is, and you will find him soon. Kay is right, maybe you should file a police report.

Stay calm.
Anonymous said…
Dear Kak,
Firdaus was in my BTU batch. He was a quiet guy but a lot of the girls minat him because of the 'nur' on his face..hehe. And you should hear him bang azan...so sedap didengar!
We pray that he'll make his way home very soon.
Anonymous said…
Salams

Insyallah Firdaus will b alright.He needs a lot n lots of Ar rahman ni Rahim.Happiness is to b convinced we are LOVED.

wawa
Hi Bj- yeah tu yang i sayang tu..and he was so cute too. Yes dah buat, 2 weeks ago. Kat sepang pun dah buat satu. you know my fil dah 2 kali heart attack kan..tu yang i taknak dia risau..he was so relieved when someone spotted daus in ttdi...
hi anony - former BTU mate! Wow! He memang ramai peminat one..sebab dia pendiam tak banyak cakap laagi lah orang minat hehehehe..bukan budak nottie. Masa BTU tu ada tak anything funny you perasan pasal dia?
Wawa.. thanks very much...he is indeed loved..eventhough the Firdaus we know is not here anymore...
Anonymous said…
salam,

maam, there's nothing to be shamed off..it's his takdir..insya Allah he'll be fine..

adib
Anonymous said…
Dear Kak,

It's me again, the BTU mate. Well..he was kind of quiet, usually kept to himself. When he went to Fettes yg ceruk nun kat E'burgh, lagi la kami tak dengar cerita. Last2 dengar yg dia sakit, and that was it..
Azril...your tall,dark, & handsome cousin. said…
Kak Long,

Sorry i didn't know ur bro in law was missing! I just received an email from Aida saying that dia(firdaus) missing. Well...hopefully he himself will return back home safely...Or hopefully someone will find him.

p/s : its a very touching story.
Lan0stZz said…
i cried reading your post kak shila. of course he didnt ask for this. and of course if i were he i'd be mad too coz instead jadi doktor now he's in mental institute. we searched for him at mt kiara, sri hartamas, ttdi, and even kg sg penchala tapi tak jumpa. praying that he'll be found soon AMIN.
Lan0stZz said…
oh btw i want to cut n paste your post boleh? thank u kak long.
pls feel free lana...and we really appreciate your effort...
Anonymous said…
Insya'allah, Allah will grant all your do'as that you have wished and He will grant them because you have wished them from your hearts and because you love him.

From: The Adviser :)

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