Monday, April 25, 2011

Goodmorning Monday!

Hi buat apa last weekend? Boring kan, daaah Monday. Where did the weekend go??

On Saturday I went for that treatment thingy. Nadine went for her debate class, where apparently she was teaching the newbies on how to conduct yourself during debate. She and other people lar. I am all for her being more active but I have to tell her lar..she cannot lah debate with mommy. Ini kan, everything I say sekarang, is a subject for debate. If I say, Nadine, good morning, she may say it's not really morning mummy.! Taulah dah 16 years old he he. I told her Nadine, I don't want you to change into those bratty teenagers who feel their moms are never right!! ..and don't take that tone with me young lady! I told her she is still my baby no matter how old she is and why is she insolent to me nowadays when I love her sooooooo much??(not above emotional blackmail, me he he) If she feels like being so, I asked her to catch herself . Listen to yourself. I trust her to be sensible with this! I would really hate it if my kids turn out to be morose, or slam doors or sulk for days!

You know who I can foresee doing that? One of my daughters who is no 3 ha ha. If I leter her she will go into major sulk mode and she will slam doors and I will yell back for her to close the door again, gently. She is a lovely girl, but emotional! I just sigh when she does that..takda energy sometimes kan?

Talking of emotional, Daya is also emotional. Come to think of it, so is Sara! The thing they cannot take is when they feel I have unjustly accused them of something. Oh the way they would defend themselves. Girls, sometimes I'm just lazy to find out who is right and I just want to whack all of you one shot- boleh tak? Sometimes je lar..heheheh not always. Sara of course (and yaya too) takes the shortcut and whack each other before I can.

I am lucky though because I don't remember my kids ever to throw tantrums, or be difficult or be spoilt. Must be because they're girls?? My nephews now are going through a stage where they show their anger by banging their heads on the floor, hitting the dad, screaming etc. I recommend that their parents stare at them in a funny way or tell them, look I cannot talk to you when you are like this, I will ignore you until you are ok. But does it work if they are 2? Maybe 42 boleh lar hahahahaha (you can still use this line ok)

We have no clue how to be parents. We are just winging it! Nadine just got a fantastically EXPENSIVE camera from her dad who did not tell me he would spend this much money on her (ye laaaa taulah duit dia......) because she wants it for her Media club. She knows I do not approve of the expense (beli lah second hand Nikon tak leh?) and she said she didn't ask for it. I am ok , she IS our daughter and we can lah say its for her PMR as well but still, don't lah terperanjat kan I like that. Parenting bukan 2 people punya kerja ke.

I told sis in law yang duduk Ireland and have 1 child tu, to get help, read books, get are not born instantly terror on how to raise children. I can see my mom giving advice to her and I can see it's not welcomed ! I feel for her because I know what it's like to have mominlaws giving advice but then , take it in the spirit its given, dearest sis in law, with humility and realisation that as much as we think we know, we DON'T know, and appreciate all the advice that our moms and moms in law give..after all they are not here for long and having them around at all is such a luxury don't be irritated..because you ARE a new parent and babies are not born with a manual.

Hey!! How come I wasn't this wise when I was in her position?? I pun ingat I terror tau..kesian laaa my inlaws. I just doa that I wasn't rude or what to my inlaws...mana tau kan, kita muda macam tu...

Wokaylahh back to work guys..I want to quit and be tai tai but apparently I have signed my life to my partner he he hehe....(unless he kicks me out for excessive internetting)


LifeBloom said...

Thanks Shils - good perspective on parenting. I was in shock when Irfan arrived on my doorstep (altho I yang pandai volunteer!) All I can say is its is VERY difficult, must devote time and energy, tak boleh give up and kena banyak bersabar dan berdoa...So far so good...he has not smashed any windows or ran from home..tantrums are mow in check. Dulu style baring2x kat department store kalau tak nak belikan...thank goodness those days are over..

Superwomanwannabe said...

Baring baring- oh dear!! I selalu kesian kan parents yang kena did you handle it?? My nephew ni macam ada gaya nak baring baring...takut mak bapak dia suruh tidor terus lah kat situ ! hehehe...anyway you are a good mommy remain objective. Sometimes i laugh when they want to throw tantrums, he he


Ask me! Ask me! 3 boys, 2 male cats and 2 female cats. Pening with my eldest boy yg cunning and pandai konon nak lie and tak mengaku, rasa nak cili je mulut. But then, I remember one ustaz ke sape cakap, kasi je minum air solat kita and malam2 cakap to them in their sleep, I do that and pray all is well, insyaAllah. bab buat perangai depan org tu bila kita ingat they will misbehave, they don't and then misbehave when we expect them to be good. It's all a phase and it will pass hopefully into a better, enjoyable life! kussssssss semangat!

LifeBloom said...

Salam Shila - I am no expert at parenting but I know that children needs structure and predictability. I follow through with my "threats" and after the punishments (usually time outs and raised decibels) are over - I will talk the episode through pointing out what were the issues. It takes a few times though - but kids will TEST you out. So kena la kuatkan hati or semangat. Kalau nak ikut mmg tak sampai hati - but at this age we need to mould them and hard as it is on us to see their tiny faces cryng and upset - its even harder to take it when they grow up disrespecting you and other authority figures.

edelweiss said...

Kak Shila,

thanks for sharing..i attended a preview of parenting course...i was crying throughout the session..i've made a lot of mistakes lah...but looking back, manusia mana tak buat salah kan? u've even mentioned tht mana ada manual for this kan..

i m trying my best to stay focus and in the right track in raising my only child. insyallah.

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...