Sunday, May 15, 2011

SPA- taubat!

Before you know it, it was time to go back allready!!

The SPA was postponed to the last day..nak gak buat tu.

Well, I will surely be "kutuk"ed by some of you as what happened in the SPA was NOT Shariah Compliant and let me say I have TAUBAT NASUHA never to ever ever ever go to a COUPLE SPA AGAIN and what the heck was I thinking but I actually did not think it through lah kan.. dengar je spa ok saja...heheheh or maybe some of you will think what the heck is she BABBLING ABOUT it's all so innocent waaaat.. But in my old age ni, I am a prude!!. It sounds funny when I think about it...but I was QUITE the headless chicken.

Ok ok back track! We took a bus to the SPA. We left the room all cleaned up, and packed, and then went to the lobby and booked the last boat at 6 pm to go back.. Hotel said never mind about the bags they would take them..

So there we were at the SPA. Wow so nice one. It had a separate pool only accessible to those who paid for the SPA VILLA- ie near the er- spa. They are more private and NO KIDS are allowed there (as opposed to other sections of the resort where there were kids loitering). The SPA compound is huge, there was a big waiting area and I was waiting for god knows what (my husband kot who was of course, taking pics) .
Finally they called us.

First up, washing feet. They sat us down, faced us, and put our feet in a bowl, and washed our feet. I FREAKED OUT BECAUSE A WOMAN WAS SCRUBBING MY HUSBAND'S FEET!!! I didn't care if I sounded like perempuan meroyan (hysterical) but I immediately SUMMONED the SPA reception and I said NO WOMEN ok !! Of course lah to cover line I said my husband is very shy, he doesn't like women to touch him, but since the SAID HUSBAND just duduk quietly there taking it in , and not looking PARTICULARLY SHY, I loooked kind of silly lar. TAK PEDULIK! Anyway they came and flustered and told me no, the treatment would be handled by MEN ONLY. Ok. lega sikit..

Then they separated us, and this is what sampai today my husband felt was a con, the next part was their signature BATH. Ie you kena mandi. You go to a RAINWATER bath (ie ,swim in a shallow cold water pool) and then after 5 minutes, the lady serving you would come and lead you to four pots (belanga) boiling with herbs etc and you steam your face over it for several seconds, and then you get taken to ANOTHER bath, like a Japanese one, where you sit in front of a row of pipes and wash yourself and THEN you soak in a warm ROPONGGA (ie warm pool). I spent a blissful 5 mins or so (time was immaterial) on my back looking up at the trees and the skies above in the total silence, listening to the crickets and birds . BLISS. Tak teringat husband langsung.

Then the lady took me to another place, there was a table, I was asked to DROP EVERYTHING (except the essentials lar) and get on the slab, the idea was for her to wash my back and legs and scrub lah. SAYA AMAT PEMALU OK, There will be no dropping of anything, and if I can I would do the entire treatment fully clothed OK! And then the thought struck me, is my HUSBAND going through the same thing?? Will there be a -gasp! WOMAN scrubbing him!?? Woah, nelly. I was very very very very uncomfortable with that and spent the next 2 or 3 minutes wriggling and getting Lakshmi to promise to get a male person to do that scrubbing thing. She dutifully (with a slightly scared expression) went to check and then came back to report that he has allready finished the bathing process. I dah nak balik dah I was that upset.
RUPA-RUPANYE when they said his treatment was going to be handled by a MAN, they meant a MALE, bila kena urut , orang laki yang massage. Tapi yang lain lain nye, iaitu, membawa ke sini ke sana etc, all ladies. FREAK OUT.

Then they took me to the common resting area where I was then joined by a happy looking hubby (I BET!) . I asked him , so you kena jirus lah ye... he said no lah his back hurt what from the sun what....but then your kaki how? he just smiled sheepishly.. Then I said you tak segan ke?? They are women and you are half clothed. Bukan kalau orang Islam tak boleh ke? He said alaaa macam physiotherapist lah. or nurses. Hah! . he got another think coming if he thinks I am going to let female anything come close to MY HUSBAND Hisssssss (mode kuching ha haha)- reading this, I sound totally hysterical don't I . Well too bad lar NO WOMEN TOUCHING YOU HOKEH.

Ok , on with the treatment. A guy came and said er I will be in the same room as you, are you ok? I said will you see anything? And he said no, we are professionals and we cover everything . Ok . I said ok. literally 2 seconds later I called him and said NOT OK but then he said everything was allready prepared. In TWO SECONDS? not wanting to create FURTHER SCENE and confirm everyone's suspiscion that this guest is insane, I said ok lar...
Well, they are professionals. Professional masseuse from Bali being Hindu, not really getting this sudden conservativeness pulak. Habis tu kenapa gatal nak spa right...malu malu pulak.!

The treatment was LOVELY!!! The pressure was just right and the lady massaging me did not talk at all (which is nice). Too bad I spent most of the time clutching tightly on my kain batek and praying that the other male masseuse who's working on the husband on the other side of the rooom, did not see anything. Over all I don't think he did as I was as covered up as you can get. Husband has no issue at all since the minute Eddie told him to lie down (with his face down) , he started SNORING away . For 2 hours he was snoring away and deeply asleep and for that , at least, I am glad. He was really really in need of this break.. He only woke up when they started smearing chocolate and palm sugar mixture on him! Kinky much?I got the same thing- this sounds so much nicer on paper and on Mills and Boon..the reality is-- it was STICKY !! Although I was tempted to lick my own hand the choc smelt expensive! Hehehehe

It ended with another bath - this time a CHAMPAGNE SCENTED BATH! Eee totally tersilap haribulan lar this spa...I even asked ni halal ke ni? To which the girl who massaged me told me slightly irritatedly, don't drink lar (I think she got fed up kot by my kebanyakkan songelannya). Mental note - must write to YTL on how to do a spa for muslim couples (or skittish couples) .

After that, we had our final lunch and lepak for a while until it was time to go... and we were shown live corals that they were growing .

The boat waited for us to come on board , and I noticed that the 7 or 8 people lining up to go on, were also waiting for us. I was so embarrassed to discover that they were indeed waiting for us and would not go on before us, because we are guests! And they were staff! And that, folks, just underlines the service, that was given by Pangkor Laut Resort .

Aside from the SPA incident...everything was perfectooooo...


Anonymous said...

Well I am prude like you then. I can never bring myself to a couple spa because it bothers me that my husband is deriving pleasure from another woman. Not only it is haram for another woman to touch your husband, I find the whole concept wrong. Yuck!

Superwomanwannabe said...

I am there with you girl! Professional or not, no contacts please. Women do not massage men! The spa tu I tak upset sangat, sbb he got male masseuse (dah lah dia ni tak pernah pergi massage massage nih) tapi yang I upset is tak terpikir ke, that if male masseuse, then semua nya male lar..kena cakap ke? Ke...I am overreacting ?


Kak Shila, I totally agree. But in my line kan, byk deal spa, ramai je org kita pegi couples spa, sah2 kena urut by perempuan muda kan, and urut for pleasure la kan, if like kaki terseliuh and ada nenek kampung kena urutkan, lain cerita kan..totally agree with you.

MrsNordin said...

Waah.. the SPA looks awesome! I must go also one day with Nordin!!

Hee.. Hee.. kelakar baca cerita you ni! I'm sure you found it hard to relax thinking of what the therapists were doing on your husband! But you both look so relax after the session... must be wonderful..!

Whenever I go to the Spa with Nordin, he always asked for a female therapist because he said, geli lah kalau lelaki yang urut (which makes sense also..). I've tried male masseurs too (saja.. for comparison). They are strong lah, but female is a lot better.

It's ok Shila, it's just their job. Much like having a male gynae examining your xxxx!! Hee.. hee..that is even worse!

Superwomanwannabe said...

Ok ok bj I'm sure the staff there also agree withyou- and heran tahap gaban why laa this makcik freak out sangat..hehehe. I guess I know now NOT to go since I feel so strongly! BUT the treatment, kalau kita pergi, was top class lah. Very deserving of their reputation as worldclaas spa.We should go !

Superwomanwannabe said...

Hi Putri

hehehehe..imagine je..nenek tua..eee i ingat lagi my wan urut kaki i terseliuh...meraung woooo

Anonymous said...

That what my hubby said - kalau men masseuse geli lah. It's really weird. So to me, yang senang, men tak yah pegi spa utk urut2. Bukan darurat pun nak kena pegi spa. I urut for him at home. Pahala pun dapat!

tireless mom said...

I love your wits dear, always. Whatever the spa experience was for you and Jab, halal or haram, both of you did look refresh and rejuvenated. OK, maybe not due to the ladies, but perhaps the chocolate smearing.

aida yurani said...

Hehehe, nak tergelak I baca ni....
Tapi mmg itu realiti. Khairul mmg tak nak buat although in same room.

So at home I yang kena bagi Spa treatment..

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...