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I go through my days feeling very guilty these days. You know why? You know when your friend or neighbour keeps giving you things and you keep forgetting to call them, or forgetting their birthday, or perhaps not think of them too much and also not giving back to them as much as you should?

Well that's how I feel. I feel He has given me a lot of things, most of all a happy family and (so far) happy children and I am doing precious little to give back. I read Mawarnafastari's blog and it's so sad and she 's so brave., she's only 26 and married 3 years, to someone who was a friend to a friend and a very good soul. They both came home from their stint in Pakistan, and on their way to surprise his parents , the car hit a horse (what were the odds) and he was gone and she was a widow and a single mom of 2 all in one night. I feel her pain because she was so happy when it happened, a doting husband etc etc. But you can read her strong spirit between her despair and far from being a voyeur who loves to read about other people's misery this lady inspires me to be grateful to be grateful and above all, to be grateful.

I have to collect the gifts I want to give back for all my blessings. More prayers more charity etc, ,more berbakti to my parents more ibadah > for me its not that easy...malas...procrastinate....a thousand and one excuse.. nak tidor....sat lagi...banyak kerja....every day I pray- make it easy!!! let me remember to return the favour, say thanks and express my thanks

Eh,,,very muslimah lak this posting....mentanglah tunggu nak buka.....he he he

UPDATE: RIGHT AFTER THIS POST WAS WRITTEN I SAW THIS PHRASE IN THE QURAN:

(Surah albaqarah- ayat 44 and 45)
Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then will you not reason?
And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah ]

So...I have been told! personally! keep trying keep trying.

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