When you still have your baby weight and your child's 10
Hi again. Amazing where the time has gone, my last rant (er..post) was on Tuesday~! Kesian diary I ni...will try to fill you in at least once in 2 days on the details of my amayyyzing life , (not) okay?
Anyways. I just told my husband that after 40 i became another person. I gained about 15 kg, wore glasses and put on the headscarf. Had I been trying to get away from a stalker, say, I would have been very successful, because Ive done such a good job disguising myself! Sadly, the weight gain looks permanent, the glasses too, and as for the headscarf, it had better be permanent! Im too old to play "finding myself" and had better get on with it on my slow but steady journey to the afterlife (Ewww morbid!)
Actually rambling on, yes the weight has got to go off. It's just I have no real motivation to be skinnier you know. At 50kg I thought I was fat, At 60kg I thought I was fat, now at almost 70 kg(!!! YES YOU READ IT RIGHT!!!)) I not only think I'm fat, I KNOW I'm fat! And I feel like kicking my younger lighter self for not being grateful that I was not THIS fat before !
The thing is, there really is nothing pushing me to lose weight. No clothes to wear? Sorted it out! Yes- DAMN YOU Elasticated pants!!! My cousin's wife has a shop- elzahraa store (http://www.elzahraa.com/) that sells lovely lovely elasticated waists palazzo pants in denim, gray etc (chehwah... promote sikit) at only RM80 plus and less and they are so comfy that I find that I'm wearing them all the time now! To work, to the mall, everywhere!
And blouses! I wear loose pregnant people blouses all the time! Anything with loose sleeves! And soft material! And baju kurung! Yesterday I was at a tahlil and this old person called ME AUNTIE!!
Now that's a wake up call or what?? I opened my closet today and I have nothing else to wear ....waaiiiiillllll...that are NOT billowy blouses with no shape. In fact I am now, wearing MY HUSBAND's SHIRT! cause it's so comfy and huge! And you know what else I'm wearing? Because I felt enough is enough with the palazzo pants today I decided to wear jeans. And after I ransacked the closet I found...HIS JEANS! And sadly, they are NOT loose on me!
This is getting pathetic. I need to go shopping, clearly. I have also got to lose weight. (Ya think?) My husband does bariatric surgery you know. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariatric_surgery)
That means he makes fat people skinny by either narrowing their stomach or bypassing it altogether. (this I quote from him, who just told me how to spell bariatric surgery like this: BA REE YAA TRIK without actually telling me the letters. He always does this, and it kills me ! Hehehehe) ..Anyway I did ask whether he would do ME and he bless him, said I'm not fat enough! I love this guy!
Or maybe, he knows he'll be paying for the surgery himself. Hmmm..I wonder.
Anyway yes, I want to STOP wearing palazzo pants. And I want to wear MY OWN jeans.
But ....I don't want to exercise.
I wish we have Weightloss meals that I can just blardie buy and eat and forget about it, Ok today I will look for appetite surpressing thingymajig.
Or does anyone know how I can exercise without sweating?
Never mind, I got to stop sabotaging myself. Its not because of those insults you know, telling me I have expanded (oh go kill yourself, you) or that I am so "sehat" (thanks and would you like me to sit on you? hehehe) -its because I need to get into nicer clothes!!
Vanity. Let's see how that works for motivation.