Confession2

I ni nak cakap...I am not that religious sebenarnya......

I went to the mosque last Saturday attending a celebration of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)'s birthday, teachings etc.

I was so "psyched" or excited, that I put it up on the FB. My sis in law called later and laughed "amboi baru first time masuk Masjid dah habis canang satu dunia ya!"  hehehehe

yeah, she's right.. other people go in and out mosques tak jadi hal pun,,no big deal...but for me it was a big deal, because I'm not the type of person who would go to the mosque! It wasn't the first time by the way, we do go to tarawikh etc, but it was the first time in a long time that I went to attend a function, voluntarily. outside of eid ! 

One of the reasons I can think of is that I wasn't raised that way!(eeee....Blame parents hahaha!) I was taught to pray, read the quran , as something I have to do.kalau tak my dad bawak keluar talipinggang ..but as for things people do voluntarily  like berzanji etc..simply did not have that kind of exposure. I didn't think it was bad, I just thought this was for the elderly folks to do! I have always admired my Johorean cousins with their  berzanji, marhaban, berkatam! Macam macam! God is great, sebab I married a Johorean and God gave me my mother in law whose lips tak lekang lekang sebut nama Allah swt and forever reminding me not to forget prayers (I must look like such a slacker to her hehehe) -- 

I envy that kind of attitude to religion. ye lah, sayang agama. and not buat because kena suruh... and sent my kids hoping they would have that same attitude instilled- ...hope menjadiklah.tapi still have to nag them to pray! (me too!) I think the attitude to teaching Islam everywhere is too strict lar ..- we should take time to break down why we are asked to do what we do...then we do it because we want to do, not have to do...and we should have cool ustaz first..hehehe 

I ni can talk the talk...can i walk the walk??? Right now I memang trying to be a  better muslimah. the intention is there.....the thing is i get distracted a lot! I mean to do a lot of good things, then I forget! That's why I tell everyone I know I want to go to Haj- so I blardie well do it! My iman meter is like my diet metre..up and down....To pray on time for me is a big achievement!!! (eee confession) 

So its good that I got reminded and motivated by the speaker at the mosque (he was funny!) Kamal Ashaari-  to be absolutely honest...i didnt mean to attend the maulud- I went to the mosque actually to attend my very first kursus haji...then I found out it was cancelled and instead there was the Maulud- they asked me- nak join kan? I can't very well turn around and said, "oh well, i have about 5 episodes of my korean drama to watch so I better go home- catch you next week, then!" right?? So I stayed...and husband stayed too ..

And I'm glad! Because the speaker did talk about how a person's faith wavers all the time. gets attacked all the time. be it the ulama, or the new muslim...be it a child or an old guy.. We came out of it very motivated and malu as of course we have taken the religion very much for granted....tak tau pun sunnah nabi tu apa beyond commonly known facts***...like honey and dates...actually how come we don't trade like the Prophet. or rule like the Prophet ha? 


***I have to say that this is me, my husband's level of knowledge is super superior..ye larr orang johor kannnn...



EH I pulak bersyarah!! Takda, just to share how now I think majlis kat masjid is a good way to be motivated...sebab without reminder we forget...esp me with memory like sieve... and I know Im not alone ...ramai people out there who are muslims but quite "easy going"..and if you are "easy going" you'd be like "whats the big deal about valentines day anyway?" instead of "valentine's day is an excuse to kissing kissing among our youths so its baaaadddd"!

  hope this post will also put pressure on me to remaiin on the path of straight and narrow...jangan hangat hangat tahi ayammmm kang...

Ishhh dah 40 pun masih ada issue iman ?? camana ni????


Comments

Anonymous said…
Shila, round up the age nampak. :-)

Jah
Putri said…
Kak Shila, at least Allah kasi kesedaran to you and tgk tup2 dah rezki dpt dgr syarahan and it wasn't planned pun. Nowdays dah ramai ustaz hip. Check out Ustaz Don, he's fresh, very respectful of other ustaz yg more experience and senang faham dia ajar and of coz he's hilarious. Check him out at TVHijrah. :)
Jah...hahahaha ye lah..43 this year..kauuuuu

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