Dilemma of a young mom!

My in laws made a surprise visit yesterday!

They're here babysitting my sister in law's baby while she went abroad - she went abroad to sit for an exam and if she pass it she will get one of only 2 position and she will be working there.

Kesian dia..its in Hong Kong, and it'll be for 3 years...and her son is 1 yrs plus only. The husband is in Kelantan at the moment and may himself be posted outstation. Mom in law and I discussed this and at first we said no lah, ask her not to take the position but since only 2 positions are available and there were50 applicants, its a big achievement if she gets the job and I somehow feel that she will get it..it's not in my in law's genes to fail ! Can't tell her not to take her dream post right??

but if she gets it..she will have to stay there..and what about the baby? MIL and DIL are allready thinking of maybe taking care of the baby for the period that the parents are away! Kesian gak kat depa..I felt sorry for them and tried to relieve them of their baby sitting duties while they were here..come on, I have 4 girls and a son who were all directed to play with Mwamat (nama dia Mohammad) - they did a great job and at one point we even put him in a tub half filled with water - he had a fantastic time splashing water about and playing with cups etc (under strict supervision of course)- this was my secret in the UK then when the kids started to be restless- water play!! And because of my lovely kids the grandparents had time to pray, and read quran etc.

Anyway back to the sister in law's dilemma..she's ok je..she's quite prepared to be separated with her husband for the sake of continuing her education..and getting her training..(not sure if she is so prepared to be separated from the baby though!) and anyway a lot of parents do this right? A lot of couples separate for a while for the sake of education/training etc right??

However , I cannot do it. If it was me, I know I'd be resigning and do all sort of stuff to remain together..either get hubby to come wiht me, or me go with him ..and of course the entire train will have to come as well lah! Am I not liberated ? or am I clingy? Yes (ceh tak malu pulak mengaku ye) but then I think it's very important to be together..and there's nothing more precious than family time together and I would keep every single one with me as long as I can. Selfish? Hmm yeah kot.

But! Different people different strokes..so here's wishing for all the best for my young sister in law..I prayed that she will get what is the best for her..

Comments

Ezza Muffinbiru said…
Laaa..kesian nya mentua kamu kena jaga cucu masa tua ni...pada akak laa..kalau terjadi pada anak akak,akak suruh dia pilih anak dan suami..cukup2lah belajar...anak anak perlu kan perhatian dan ibu bapa pun perlu kan masa tua nya...bersyukur lah pada apa yang ada...suami pun kena jaga gak..kang dia pasang cawangan baru..jiwa kacau jadik nya....
Anonymous said…
Oh yikes! The decision to be made!

Seriously, I'd make sure that the whole team be by my side. If the wife can drop everything to be with the husband, so should the husband, no? Barulah fair partnership, sama2 berkorban..

JH
jm said…
Hi kak, have been a silent reader for quite some time, but now i feel compelled to comment my 2 cents worth. Was in a similar situation last 2 years, both hubby and i were climbing the corporate ladders and it didnt help that he was away most of the times and i was left in charge of our toddler. We tried the long distance rship thingy without much success but finally i decided to pack up n joined him here. it was not an easy decision but i took solace in knowing that prob it's time for me to step down and let him shine as he'd sacrificed when we 1st got married. i think communication and give & take are more important rather than the gender issues of who should sacrifice in this case. I believe when do u do something, u've to believe in it and do it willingly, otherwise there'll always be rasa insecure, tak puas hati etc. InsyAllah & good luck! mintak dipermudahkan semuanya for your sil & family.
Kak Ezza- ye lah sama lah dengan fikiran kita...biarlah kita dengan family kan....
JH- get hubby to come over kan? Meaning,wife pergi, tapi hubby ikut-- thats a good idea! instead of wife yang ikut husband
JM- i hope you are happier now and not having regrets k! I think you are such a good wife and mommy to do so, especially since you sound as committed to your work as him. But I think when corporate women stop working, they transfer their skills to their homes ..and the kids benefit! betol tak..
wanshana said…
I'm like you lah, Shila... :)

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