Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Pasal kawin cerai...cedehhh

Last weekend I  met one friend whose recent divorce shocked me to the bone. When I was at Uni, I met them, this young girl with a baby, she had followed her husband to the UK for him to do his postgraduate studies. The husband was about 10 years older than her. The mother in law also came along if I remember correctly. The friend , Kak A , was barely older than me, and was a giggly person.

Anyway in KL we did bump into them occassionally at malls etc. They had 4 kids in the end I think. 

Tup tup, I heard they got  divorced. 24 years. Seriously. 

So when I finally saw her last Sunday at a friend's son's birthday party I asked her- WHY lah. I always feel like smacking people who get divorced , as if it was their fault that they couldn't sustain the marriage heh heh. Because to me, why do you break what I see as good? Unless of course, it's not good

So she was telling me, that that divorce came out of the blue. They had gone abroad as a family, and had a very good time. Then they came home, and soon after that, she felt such hatred for him, and he for her. Things got very heated. She blamed his mother, and said it was her fault as she had wanted them to separate for a long time now. The mother was seen to have visited the house in their absence for a short while for a mysterious purpose. And that he was a mommy's boy. I told her- you knew that he was a mommy's boy since in the UK! There was one time that the mother had made a huge deal when he bought the wife an expensive present , and he had to buy the mother the same thing. Geram geram lah but on the other hand, she was his mom. So tahan je lah  kan. My friend said she had stood for it for 24 years, but in the end it got too bad. The mother in law had meddled so much and showed that she did NOT want her as a daughter in law. And apparently the mother in law said if her son did not divorce her, she will renounce her son. !!Tak mengaku anak.  Ada kah?? Dialogue drama apa kah ini???

Kesian my friend. From the divorce, she didn't get a lot except a house a car and a monthly allowance. (!!!Kira banyak lah tu kan?? But actually he has so much more sebenarnye ) She didn't get the kids even. And she said the mother in law is still at it with her black magic. trying to make her go mad, so that she can't claim his properties. 


Aiyoo...got ah..macam Tentang Dhia je!! I feel sad because the man is very quiet and soft spoken and actually we all love him to bits. And of course lah, there could be more to this, we only hear her part right. But the breakdown of any marriage is sad. esp when there are children . And got ah mother in law like that! Why would she DO that?? How much of her son's assets can she protect? Even if the wife claims how much can she claim? And if they go to her children those children are the mother in law's grandchildren! 

So sad kan? 

At the party  I also met another uni friend who was there with her boyfriend. She also just got divorced.  She met her husband at Uni, and got together when we did and apparently divorced because the husband's girlfriend refused to share. Haii..the wife so pretty you know. Also tak cukup ah.  The husband was amazingly handsome before whenhe was younger so they looked so good together. But I guess its not meant to be Im happy she has found happiness again. And that he has gone fat. 

Actually it was a reunion of sorts- because the friend who hosted the party was also from uni so ramai yang datang tu, I kenal, Some I kenal but husband tak kenal. They know OF my husband then because he was active socially (sounds so miang kan, I meant sports) but they didn't know we had gotten together (and then some!) 

Well...pray pray hard lah, that our marriage ni last...and my mother in law tak lah decide to go beserk on me ke...and husband tak lah decide nak bergirlfriend ke..all that in God's hands..but pray lah that that is not my destiny..sebab kesian..! 

Ok bbaaaiii


Anonymous said...

Hi SW,

I can feel for her. The mom in law could be doing black magic all along, but it could have been a stronger one this time around. Some mums are so possesive and love to control their son and still want to be in the son's life although he is married. They are just destroying other people's life by doing this.

My mum in law is similar to hers, except she doesnt live with me and doesnt follow us on holiday. But yes, she does black magic to separate us. So far, the magic she did didnt separate us, but caused us to have many problems and still no children after so many years married.

Anonymous said...

So sad kan Shila, hope they are nobody I know... It is always the children who will suffer.


Superwomanwannabe said...


Your MIL buat black magic?? Why laaa do that..doesnt shewant to see her son happy?? Be strong ok - I pray for you to continue to be happy ...does your hubby know?

Superwomanwannabe said...

jah, takkot..batch much older than us, more myfriends than jab..tapi so unsangkarable. Imagine a couple yang you memang ingat takkan split up.tibatiba, cerai- sungguh shocking.

Anonymous said...

Hi SW,

Yes, hubby knows abt what his family is doing, but he says something along the line - wanna swallow also cannot, wanna spit also cannot. He does his duty as a son toward the mum but sometimes he cannot avoid her alltogether, the mum will then start to complain to the relatives that the son is not calling her or visiting her. Basically the mom wants him under her roof and be single, cos she treats him as cash cow. Want the son to support her, the daughter and daughter's kids. In beginning, most my husband's salary was given to the mum. On top of her monthly allowance, she always called and asked for more to support her daughter and grandkids. No amount of money seem sufficient for them, because they love to enjoy and jolly. Now, husband is more careful, he just give her the monthly allowance and tells her he has other expenses to take care also. They still unhappy and will do black magic. If husband visit them, he doesnt inform b4 he goes. Just drop by without notice. If inform, they usually prepare makanan istimewa which already have black magic stuff on it lah :)

Teruk kan?

Anonymous said...

What kind of a personwants to break up their kid's marriage! Very sad. Hope friend finds peace. V.G- anonny

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...