MARRYING EARLY!

OOH! Forgot to tell you. Nadine asked a question at dinner just now. 

The mother of a boy, who is going out with Nadine's friend (call X) , has just asked X whether she wants to marry her son. 

like now. 

both hubs and i said NOOOOOOO

I said- can he take care of her? is the reason, to prevent sin? If so, are they so uncontrollable that they will definitely commit sin, if not getting married? 

Husband : They are too young. 

Actually when I was in Form 5 there was this girl who dropped out...she got married to her bf..ostensibly because the bf's grandad requested at his deathbed..could be because she was pregnant..who knows. I hope she's still happy and married now. 

In my batch pun ada a few couples yang kawin during college (but not as young as SPM lah) ...ada yang kekal..some make it..some don't! Some yang kenal since 16 then when go to Uni..ok lagi..and then come back and work...then discover you want different things...

I joked...if i had  my way I would have married your dad a lot earlier nadine..but he knew he was going to be stuck for life with me..so he tried to make it as late as possible ha ha  ha..(actually he was waiting for enough money but to me- who needs money to get married?hehe)

To say don't get married, what about our grandparents who married really young? 17 would be considered over the hill during their time. *(yes but it's not their time now etc etc)

But I donno what to tell this girl (who i suspect i know who) ....get married is fine..just...Not yet. 

your thoughts??


Comments

Tina said…
You asked for thoughts, here's mine :)

17 is too young la kan? Although I am not against young couples getting married, in fact I'd allow my daughters to get married at maybe age, 20? that's still very very young! but not so mentah like 17.

When it comes to dating, I myself have got it all wrong up until recently; always thought that "kalau tak buat apa-apa" as in merely hanging out together, tak apaa...but the truth is, it is not permissible in our religion, i.e God's rule says cannot! keluar together in one car also cannot (even if tak buat apa2!) in other words it's haraam but I hate to use that word, macam labelling pulak, but Allah yang cakap haraam, who are we to say otherwise? This is in response to your "uncontrollable that they will commit sin"...sin doesn't just happen when they "do it" but yakking on the phone, dating, duduk dua2 dalam kereta even if tak bersentuhan pun sin jugak. And we should never ever belittle any sin...they count!!

All the best to us parents, may Allah guide us! ameen!

thanks for your thoughts tina! yeah...17 is too young kan. true what you said about the teeniest sin is still a sin ...this day and age the obstacles are more..perhaps write letters as a way to get to know each other is better..

As a parent..to be strict nanti runs the risk of (1)having child lari (2) having child rebel/..insyallah tak happen to our kids, insyallah...
Anonymous said…
I think we as parents play a great role in this - from the start do not allow bg-gf thingy until habis sekolah.. None whatsoever. Tak kisahlah if we are labeled as too conservative.. Too strict .. too outdated... Better safe than sorry .. 17 is way too young. I guess if dah terpaksa kena lah kasi kawin at that age but seriously how did we allow that relationship to develop over the years?

Ella
dormadot said…
my daughter 20 yrs old (still kat u) ada tanya i whether we let her kahwin now. yes we did (my husband and i ada discuss about this before dia tanya) but i ask her to tell the bf to ask his mother first then baru boleh cerita. depan mata boleh jaga n control tapi kalau jauh apa2 boleh jadi. tak kira anak perempuan/lelaki kena strict bab2 dating ni dari mula.
Anonymous said…
Definitely too young!

Jah
DocYana said…
SuperWomanWannabe
I reckon age is just a number - some 17 year olds are wise beyond their age, and some 30 year olds are still so childish.

However, I do object when people use marriage as a reason to 'mengelakkan maksiat' - so you get married and you can have sex without feeling guilty but marriage isn't just romen2, kan? Marriage is about so much more - planning for the future, enjoying your similarities and accepting each other's faults because once you get married, sendawa kuar bau durian pun jadi sebab nak gaduh. Walhal masa dating, kentut pun wangi.

Marriage is also about sacrifice, compromise, being happy and being sad with each other - having the maturity to talk with each other when having problems, rather than mengadu nasib to your officemate, right?

It is sad when people get married for a few months and get divorced - apparently takde sefahaman - tapi before kahwin dah dating 9 years - all your sefahaman dah habis masa 9 years tu ke?

So, bottomline, it is the maturity that counts and making sure your are getting married for the right reasons!!

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