Getting fussy in the old age [edited]

We went visiting husband's brother and his family in Sepang yesterday ..we ate lovely lovely food at auntie aini's garden cafe and husband had many many helpings of the lauk and rice- right up his street with the masak lemak cili padi, daging salai, masak asam etc. At home food fare is mostly child friendly - ayam goreng, masak kicap daging..boring and safe food lah. Mainly also cause I tak makan pedas-- so yesterday I ate and also drank 2 glasses of water sebab it was toooo spicy! Just to be safe I ordered sup ekor..tak pedas! Anyway it was a good night, catching up with them and talking about business!  My bro in law ada venture called Virtual Haj-as a  virtual reality expert he has designed a programme teaching us how to do haj/umrah: 

Check this out: http://www.vhearttech.com/

Hopefully our dreams for him to market this around the world berjaya insyallah.sekarang ni masih bunga-bunga cinta baru. (ie  baby in the market)

Anyway we were chatting, his wife and I , and reminiscing about the ol'days. My brother in law had married my best friend since I was 13, Z -,and Z had been in the UK with me. In fact Z also met hubs when we first got together. So banyak lah pengalaman I dengan Z ni. Kesian gak hubby Z ni semalam, cause he was left out of some parts of the reminiscing...

We got to talking about makan "katok" - makan non-halal ! Boy I really regret it now but Z and I both at one time, really really rindu KFC and we bedal je..! that was the only time as far as I can remember..otherwise we were good girls..tapi takda lah se"good"as to check out the emulsifiers-- some were porcine based I was told. 

I now regret that but what to do- taubat je lar and hope for the best..I now am more careful. In Switzerland we didn't take the apple crumble takut made from lard...(or suet) -

Of courselah, it can create social awkwardness...how far do you take this..in Switzerland's case- it was easy.. just avoid and no one would be hurt..in my husband's chinese doctor friend's case- camana? we all went to the house for CNY and they served satay, (which was bought so I took) and then they served burgers (ayam kot) which they cooked themselves (which I didn't take but just about everyone in my family took!) I spoke to my husband later and asked him - halal ke? and he said - sure lah halal, they know they are having guests kan..who can be muslim and indian etc..yaa but I mean, the plates and the frying pans and the cooking utensils..have probably cooked non halal meat so is it ok for us to eat the burger cooked in the same pan? 

I know, I know the more liberal me of old - and even the more liberal of my friends- would say I'm getting fussy and unreasonable. It was eat, or risk offending my hosts! Not so easy when you are in the situation itself. 

I gave in to social pleasantries - and took one (that and the fact that we were very hungry!) and bismillah- I'm sure it was ok. but I think maybe next time I will decline lah, since dah was-was right?? I just have to find a way to do it that won't offend anyone- since it is also my duty not to be harsh to others ! If offered wine, takpalah decline- i don't drink- if offered say, fried chicken, yang tak haram (ie not pork- non muslims usually only know one meaning of the word Halal)  I nak kata camana- sorry I can't  eat at your house because your plates etc tak halal. ?erks??

This is me je kot..tengok orang lain okay je visit mengvisit and makan memakan--- ek ? ek? 

Maybe I will go vegetarian. Senang..hehehehe


Edit!: Have read Tina's suggested website, think it's good to put here: 

Q: I am living in a non muslim country where we have to share the kitchen with Non Muslims. After using the plates the non muslims colleaugues wash them but when we want to use these plates can we use them as such or do we have to wash them 3 times so as get their TAHARA ?.

A: Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle concerning plates is that they are pure, whether they are used by a Muslim, one of the People of the Book (a Jew or a Christian) or anyone else, unless it is certain that they are naajis (impure). Hence the majority of fuqaha’ are of the view that it is permissible to use the vessels of the kaafirs. They quote a number of things as evidence for that, including the following:  
1 – Allaah has permitted us to eat the food of the people of the Book, i.e., meat slaughtered by them. It is known that it will sometimes come to us cooked in their vessels, which indicates that it is permissible to use their vessels. 
2 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was invited to eat some barley bread and other food by a Jewish boy.  Narrated by Ahmad, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1/71. 
3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions did wudoo’ from the leather water skin of a mushrik woman. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 337; Muslim, 682.  
This evidence indicates that it is permissible to use the vessels of the kuffaar. 
But if we know that they cook pork or dead meat in their vessels, or they drink wine from them, then it is better to avoid using them unless it is necessary and we can find no alternative. Then we may wash them and eat from them. If they wash them, then we do not have to wash them again, and it is not necessary to wash them three times, rather they should be washed until there are no traces of their food and drink left on them. 
The evidence for that is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (5478) and Muslim (3567) from Abu Tha’labah al-Khushani who said: I said, “O Prophet of Allaah, I live in a land where there are some of the People of the Book; can we eat from their vessels?” He said: “As for what you said about the People of the Book, if you can find anything else, do not eat from their vessels, but if you cannot find anything else then wash them and eat from them.” 
***** 
This may be understood as referring to those among them who use their vessels for haraam things, because of the report from Abu Dawood (3839): “We live next to some of the People of the Book who cook pork in their vessels and drink wine in their vessels.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If you can find anything else, eat from them and drink from them, but if you cannot find anything else, then wash them with water and eat and drink.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 
Al-Khattaabi said: 
The basic principle in this matter is that if it is known that the mushrikeen cook pork in their pots and drink wine from their vessels, then it is not permissible to use them until after they have been washed and cleaned.” 
End quote from ‘Awn al-Ma’bood. 
The phrase “If you can find anything else, eat from them and drink from them” means eat and drink from those other vessels. This command means that it is mustahabb, according to the majority of fuqaha’, i.e., it is mustahabb to avoid these vessels, and it is makrooh to use them even if they are washed, unless there are no others available in which case it is no longer makrooh. 
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim (13/80): 
The reason why it is better not to eat from them even after washing is because they are regularly used for naajis things.” End quote. 
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 1/68: 
The hadeeth of Abu Tha’labah al-Khushani according to which the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not eat from them unless you cannot find anything else, in which case wash them and eat from them” indicates that it is better not to use them, but many of the scholars interpreted this hadeeth as referring to people who are known to handle naajis things, such as eating pork and so on. They said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade eating from their vessels unless we cannot find anything else, in which case we should wash them and eat from them. This is a good interpretation, and is implied by the basic principles of sharee’ah. End quote. 
To sum up: 
If these people do not use those vessels for drinking wine or eating pork or dead meat, then it is permissible to use them. If they do use them for haraam or naajis kinds of food and drink, then it is better not to use them if you can find something else. If you cannot find something else then you can use them after they have been washed, whether it is you or they who wash them. 
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A


Comments

Anonymous said…
masa I dekat overseas , selalu jugak join usrah .the religious people there kata ,islam ni tak menyusahkan .so tak payah fikir banyak banyak dan kenalah bersangka baik .selagi bukan depan mata kita nampak orang tu masak babi, pastu masak ayam pulak dalam periuk yang sama ,yakinlah bahawa makanan tu halal .tapi kalau dah terang lagi nyata tu , lain ceritalah kan ...sebab kalau kite fikir sgt ,boleh jadi gila kalau pegi abroad.of course lah diorang takkan samak punya ,habis tu kita boleh makan apa ?chopping board and other kitchen utensils fork and spoon semua pun share kot ...

satu lagi pendapat kata ,tentang food yang mengandungi E9999(tak ingat nombor sebenar sebab dah lama tinggal) yang merupakan asal dari babi ...pendapat tu cakap ,walaupun ade ingredient tu ,ia boleh dimakan sebab keadaan babi tu dah berubah dari yang asal .kiranya benda tu diextract dari babi ,tapi ia bukan babi .contohnye ,ade enzyme yang diextract dari human ,but we wouldnt call it human coz its not human .that was the argument given lah .fatwa ni dari para ulama ,so ikut kite lah nak ikut ulama yang mana .
wallahualam.


ectopy
Ectopy- thank you !U are right..islam tak menyusahkan.actually i would not usually be so bothered but recently someone I know who is memang SO MUCH FUSSIER than me, asked me how I can be comfortable eating (vegetarian meal) at a restaurant which may or may not serve pork so after that I got more particular! But in CNY case such pettiness would just ruin the host's mood and goodwill!

Thanks for your views!
Tina said…
Shila,

Plates and utensils used for cooking and serving pork can be used after they have been washed clean (no need samak). But if you ragu2 they have not been cleaned properly, then don't lah I suppose.

Here's something for you to read:
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/65617
Thank you Tina I will read it! That's a relief !
Anonymous said…
I know how it feels .thats why kalau I nak travel ,I suke pergi dgn orang yg dah biase travel or had lived overseas before .they understand betapa impossible nye nak 100% make sure.biasenye mindset kitorang sama .kalau org yg fussy sgt ni ,haish ,suke question orang lain kan .kite pun bukan alim sgt nak argue dgn die ...last last kite kempunan tak boleh makan sebab ade food police.haha ...

ectopy
Anonymous said…
Hi SW,

Actually non muslim yg nak invite muslim frens ke rumah masa cny ke, deepavali ke, lebih baik cater halal food and serve packet drinks dlm tin ke kotak. if they do masak pork kat rumah, chicken ke apa, semua kan guna perkakas yg sama? also, ada family tak cook pork, but they do pack pork from shops and eat at home, using their mangkuk, sudu semua. indians jarang makan pork cos their agama dont allow them to eat pork and beef. for chinese, mmg pork is main ingredient la. for indians its mutton. last time my indian fren, buat deepavali kenduri kat rumah dia. dia org sembelih satu kambing, but ada call org islam untuk sembelihkan pasal dia org plan nak invite muslims as well to the party.

Sha
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hi Sha- hah yeah safe to cater.. nanti jadi issue ni pulak. They are absolutely lovely lovely people so I would hate to offend them..but I think personally I probably will go with the "if can, avoid" way of thinking.
Anonymous said…
Hi SW,

You are so right. Maybe next time better just avoid going to the function. Cos, we cant just eat it n then keep feelin guilty. If go, and never eat pun susah juga. so far, a few chinese house i went,mrk kasi tidbits je, macam kacang, oren, biskut and canned drinks.

or maybe next time when get invited, can ask ur hubby to ask them, ada makanan halal tak. kalau tak ada, tak apa, we all come, but boleh makan tidbits je. kot ur husband's friend tak arif sangat hal halal and non halal.

Sha
Anonymous said…
for me..halal haram ni penting...eventho ayam..never know where they bought the ayam....u know what i mean...better safe than sorry....anyway nice blog...

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