Sunday, April 07, 2013

Graduation Day [ get your coffee before you read this as its rather long ]

Yesterday was Adni's graduation day. Graduation Day is basically a day for all the form 5 both taking SPM and Cambridge O levels (both systems offered here) . Also an awards day for exams which result came out AFTER the December performance day last year. Daddy dropped Nadine, Daya and me at the very beautiful ISTEC building at Jalan Duta behind the Bus station . MasyaAllah it looks like a Moors palace. Yours truly opted to wear a blouse and pants and instantly regretted it the minute I went in and saw ladies swishing by in glittering abaya and jubah! DONG! I ALWAYS do this, every year. I start thinking its casual, then regret cause everyone would be in their baju melayu and formal wear. Ah never mind larh- they know me is not jubah and niqab , me is me lah. 

So in we went, sans the ever busy Surgeon (woooooiiii bapaknya...kalau sebok sangat maknya akan selalu boook holiday nak jumpa you punya pasal hokehhh heheheh) .

Nadine and Daya soon went off to their respective groups- daya was taking an award for excellence in her junior internal exams (compulsory) which she did well in, and nadine went to join her Form 5 graduates . She was up for a couple of awards, best in SPM and also alhamdulillah, Khalifah award, ie leader award. Her co- debater also took Khalifah award (he was head boy when she was head girl) and excellence in Cambridge O levels- although the best Cambridge O levels result went to this other guy (brother of Johan's BFF).

Took a while to get into the hall though, since all the teachers who greeted me spent a couple of minutes congratulating me. heheh..tahniah for nadine etc. Yang belajar nye dia yang kena tumpang glemer mummy hehehe--IOne lady Teacher N who held quite a high managerial position too said something nice-- whose husband taught Nadine as well : she said Nadine got good results because she was ahem- get ready- perfect . in akhlak and morals. and HOW did I raise her to be like that?? "Sempurna" you! waduuuuuhh risau .- puji tinggi tinggi sangat ni tak elok orang kata- I caution my daughter not to let it go to her head..enjoy the moment, sure but  be humble always. 

I hazarded a guess that Nadine wanted success and felt confidence of success,perhaps. Which followed my earlier rant about my other kids who may feel that success or understanding of the subject is far from them. The teacher shared that the results of SPM this year was quite bad with some students performing below expectation-- who knows why... could be that they studied hard but  SPM is so dependant on your performance on the day..if you excel the rest of the year but have migraine for that day- hancus oso. 

I shared with her my concerns about my other 4 kids ...each with their own characters . She told me how no 3 and 4 are quite outgoing. No 2 is quiet but a leader as well in her own way. They are all different but insya Allah, they will be successful. "Success" after all is different to different people. I am very successful because to me, success means a happy marriage (insya Allah) and a happy family . Dah lah! takda duit berkoyan koyan pun ok...takda position that starts with "VP" or "Director of" or "Chief" this or that pun OK- takda gelang emas satu lengan pun okay lah....handbag I tukar only if luncai pun ok lahhehehehhe,.. I am a very successful person kan?? heheheh

I enjoyed the graduation ceremony..didn't feel 4 hours long at all! .first the chairman and the principal gave speeches, and the guest of honour and the former principal - because this school is so small (although it's getting bigger) the messages felt personal and I found myself sniffling dengan terharunye. Then the graduates came up to take their certificate , pose for pictures, shake the principal's hand. Nadine came up to take hers and was given a standing ovation hehehe . Then the speeches by the 3. The best Olevels guy speech was kelakar..and honest. Full of malay and english, about his mom and dad and their advice, and how he wanted to be rich because he wanted to be sponsoring lots of things for islam. The 2nd speech was given by the former headboy, [also chief debater, best speaker etc ]etc and of course lah speech dia macam pro lah kan,. slang siap ..about how he was ill for form 1 and 2, and bed ridden but alhamdullillah he found himself today getting a khalifah award etc so his message was roll with whatever life throws at you...

and then Nadine came up..totally not prepared anything..she mentioned how she is different to the girl 6 years ago and how grateful she was to the school for introducing her to people who were very passionate and sincere about the deen. and she went to thank everyone in school and teachers and she also quoted some hadith and also quoted the earlier VIP speakers (nice touch that) and she was very warmly applauded and I think some of the teachers teared up he he (she later came to me and said sorry she totallyforgot to say thanks to her parents!) 

Then the rest of the kids came up for their awards (PMR, and all the other exams including UPSR) and then pictures time and I had to pose as well by the way ...when they called Nadine to take the award. 

Then makan time! I was asked to sit with the principals now they know  that Nadine's mom crack jokes all the time and have so much to say about everything and is totally the reason why Nadine has a sense of humour. Eg Dr Fauzi's english wife was telling me about this book called "QUIET" dealing with how quiet kids can also succeed and I said yeah thats so great, but do they have one that says "HOW TO BE- "?  ie how to be quiet? ahahah. I know, joke bodoh. Sigh is  a journey kan? I hope the other kids will get the same benefit from the school. I always make doa that they grow up to be kind, you know. Not clever or rich, but kind and a good muslim. Insyallah , if they are good muslim they are going to be successful in their own way. And happy. 

Hmm maybe say a few words about the family and what we did for nadine. 

Basically- nothing. 

I didn't have any special formula. Goodness knows I am also very malas to set aside a reading hour or what ..but a few things I was very adamant about:

1- kids must have in them , the religion. Ie, it cannot be a taught thing, it has to be a living thing, around which life revolves. This is not because I am so ustazah, but because I felt lacking in MY education and lifestyle (to be fair to mom and dad only now do we have all these schools, before the good schools were the convents and the boarding schools only) . Because of that they must be comfortable with their religion- and not just see it as  a subject they learn. Islam for them must be a lifestyle like their nenek and their opah..everything around solat. We go after solat, before solat etc . Learn to pray and learn the quran was vital somehow to me. My kids learnt to pray by 5 i think. This is also the reason why other half finally went to the dark world of private practice. T

2. Never be rude and never be hateful. Words like hate, stupid were and are still banned in my home (although sometimes I forget). which is  now biting me back since jojo told me to stop saying "crap"  (as in, the food was -----).

3. Always be loving..if fight, must always say sorry and hug each other. Must , must must. Hugs galore in the house. Im forever hugging them. PDA abounds in the house. 

4. talk to them about everything . So much so that they dread going in the car as I will take the chance to get them to talk 

5. Joke around. Have a happy atmosphere. If not happy, do not leave the child alone to brood around - hey not allowed. in the house their dad is silly actually. 

6. Lots of laughter. Lots of shouting. Lots of emotions. Which is hard for their dad I guess since he's not that big about showing your emotion. lots of nagging

7.  Have parents who are polar opposites of each other- so insyaAllah you get a bit of dad's sensibility and mom's impulsiveness 

Does that make sense? 

In the end it's all up to Him..and I think we are very lucky..and here's praying that however far they go , they will not forget family and the values we have...


DocYana said...

Always after reading your posts about your kids, I would exclaim to my husband how well rounded and well balanced your kids are. Forgive me for being stereotypical but kids who were born overseas and having well-to-do parents almost always end up being so called 'too social' and cared only about the latest trends and clubbing and hanging out with friends rather than with their family.

I know of people yang tak pernah tinggal overseas pun ckp english ada slang and tgk org pakai tudung as backwards and think it is cool to be drinking alcohol.

Your family is living proof that it is possible.


Superwomanwannabe said...

Thank you Docyana....when they were in the kebangsaan school, that particular kebangsaan school memang definitely ada chance to go social..terkenal I took them great costs! but alhamdulillah the islamic school, no matter lah tak da emphasis on academic sangat, did help I think..

U know, i am very lucky so far! Hopefully takda lah rebel etc esok!

nizamohamed said...

Hi this post, and yes, I had my coffee (and a biscotti) while reading it..:)). It is definitely not easy being a mom but it is also rewarding kan? I have two young kids, well, my son is going to be 12 soon so I guess a set of new challenges coming soon!! I also hope that they become well rounded people, and good muslims. In syaa Allah. Congrats to Nadine! Banyak A tu!!!!! We need more smart and great muslimah that can help lead the people and In syaa Allah she'll be one of them....

Tina said...

Masha' Allah tabarakallah Shila! Subhanallah, you are living the dreams of many mommies out there, me included! May Allah bless your family always.

Superwomanwannabe said...

Thank you Tina!!

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...