Wednesday, November 04, 2015


Yay! It's November already !

I have gotten myself a coach now, and it's been great! He joined BNI and I thought I'd give it a go, since I was in two minds then about whether I should resign or not and what I should do! To cut a long story short, he helped me come to the conclusion that yes I should now define what I want and what I dont want.

And coming back from sending Nadine, (Another blogpost!) I have decided that I will only do corporate banking and not anything else. And even then, big corporate loans. Not small ones.

So yes I am happy .

Monday, August 17, 2015

The decision

After a lot of thinking, and self analysis.........I have decided to call it a day. I am going to stop work. I have told my boss.Presently he is not accepting it. But I think dah lah kan..I want to do other things- write, study japanese again, study quran again...etc

time to harden the heart and say no i am not staying... even though we are good friends. Please please don't get too upset. The firm will survive without me should you want to keep it. It's time to move on. I don't know,  but I don't want lah people to marah me pula

The other half is supporting. And actually looking forward to it- I'm sure he's imagining me going pasar tani-ing or marketing and  NOT actually nagging him about when he is coming to fetch me from work he  he- yeah after how many years he still fetches me and where possible , send also!

Since August I've been going to class. I'm going to be dead tomorrow since it's 2 am now and I have not slept....but the class is fantastic. The ustadz is N*ouma*n Alikha*n (in case he googles his name and find this mention and gets a little worried)   and I cannot believe he came to the table where I was and answered my question face to face - 2 weeks ago he'd pass me and I would freeze. it's like watching your youtube movie come to life. The course itself is very interesting- we are analysing arabic grammar used in the quran so we can tell what the form of the sentence is, and what it HAS to mean. In 11 days I can already read and understand a little bit.  The teacher matters. He is fun and funny and not at all sermony...anyway yeah I see many supposedly working women and lawyers too, day in and day out, 9 to 2 pm ...! Tomorrow I have a meeting at 4 pm

Ok i better go to sleep - !

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

moving for the sake of moving

You probably want to kick me after this post. heck I want to kick me now. I am considering moving jobs, from a job that allows me total autonomy, and flexibility, and ability to do my work anytime anywhere, BUT not a stable income, to a job that gives me a fixed income every month, BUT needs me to be tied to the office from 9 to 5. The new job (potential) is next to pavillion though.

What do you think.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Leaving the nest

Dear Blog

So there's so many things to update you . Nadine's gotten a place in U of Chicago to do history (she says). She's pretty excited as this was the top uni she wanted. She is fully sponsored so I told her not to let the sponsors down. Do not embarrass the country and the family. She said why can't she disagree with the government just because they are paying for her education. I said it's called gratitude. you explain it? 

Sara is on the verge of starting her foundation programme. We went through the entire pahlava of applying, getting her accepted, and doing the extra English IELTS exam, for a place in foundation course in St Andrews,Scotland. She'd be doing 2 years foundation at 21k pounds a year, and then if she does well, she'll go into medical school at the same university. We saw the brochure, and it's gorgeous. She was excited, we were excited. 

Then one day the father called and said that despite doing O levels, his Uni can consider her after all, on a case to case basis, provided that her results are satisfactory. (She has 8 As from 10 subjects of O levels, she was head prefect, House captain, got awarded best student last year and got awarded the Khalifah award this year- my Sara is a superstar! Hehehehe) The only thing is that the uni is local, vs overseas. Weighing all the options, we had to wake up . He he..there are three more kids after her, and to tie up about 200,000 ringgit a year just for one child would make things difficult financially. I started checking out the job market to see if I can get better pay (much though I love present firm). I  had a twinge of regret that we gave up our permanent residency in the UK. I even suggested selling our lovely home to move to a simpler place , so we can afford a fantastic overseas university for Sara. Sounds mad kan? (but really St Andrews is gorgeous!!! Oh  JPA /MARA, why laaa you cannot sponsor medicine)

What clinched it was Sara. She  surprisingly was okay. She said it's  near home, she can continue to see her friends, do her normal activities etc. So, if she is accepted , inshaAllah she will be going there. But it's local lah. Hubby said it's just as good. (he would, he teaches there) .  He said she still has to prove herself. 

We will have one year break from thinking of degree and courses ...and then in 2017 we have to think of Sophia. Then 2018 Dahlia and 2019 Jojo.. All of whom will be doing O levels (because they stand to do better at them) AND perhaps,  SPM (because that stands a better chance of being financed!) - Insha Allah, they have my prayers always. 

In the meantime, I am dreading the time my kids leave the house..Nadine so far and thank goodness sara not so far..wonder if this was how mom felt. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Had a good break?

Today is the last of the 4 day weekend..sobs* where did the time go (as usual). Hope my friends who are chinese or have chinese relatives had had a great Chinese New Year!! I asked one of my friends if I can come to her house for CNY she said no. hehehehe. I asked why lah ?? She said, I don't cook. So I guess no sudden barging to my chinese friends' house yelling Happy New Year loudly then! 

We had a family dinner at mom and dad one night- mom cooked nasi ayam in the way only she can do it- yummm. Dad was a bit sad when we all left, one by one...I am ashamed to say I was a bit irritated that dad was so clingy..he must have felt this way with HIS parents too right ? Don't worry, I slapped myself and realise that I am so lucky that my parents are around. We take for granted what we have, that is a universal truth. 

But it's true though that my dad is bored. He's at home with mom, and his tab, and his internet, but he wants his family around. If I don't call him after 2 days he'd be moaning that I have forgotten him. Mom is also the same-  I guess I will be exactly the same. Heck I am already like that with MY kids. 

So what is the solution? Try to get away with them often? Make mom and dad happy- my dad likes to travel- no surprise there hehe. He gets restless at home . So yesterday we went to Kuala Selangor to eat seafood- a good long drive and we had a good seafood meal at D'Coral Seafood, which is not the most famous place to eat in Kuala Selangor, but the most famous restaurants are very chinese and no offence to the chinese but mom was concerned they were  not halal. (Hubby told me this morning that the Dcoral restaurant bosses were chinese too even though they have malay staff but I guess they must cater for muslims right. Although I feel very bad and disloyal to my chinese friends for suggesting that their eatery is not good enough for us muslims, there are certain rules we observe that makes a halal status important. )

Ok I'm babbling.

I also picked up a tennis racket the other day. I felt very restless myself, not having left the house for a whole day (ahaks!) so when the other half and Jojo went to play tennis i tagged along. Yes I am totally c*ap at it (sorry kids, who thinks c*ap is a swear word ) but I had fun hitting some balls . techniques all ke laut but who cares. Hubby says Jojo is getting good. It warms the heart to watch them play..remind me why I wanted to have a son so much- so that hubby can have someone play with him. As for the said son, he was happy I wanted to be  a part of something sporty- he was delighted I wanted to come. Hey I'm the passive read a book and listen to your stories kind of parent ok. I have a friend who posted on her FB that she just cycled 174 km and wow...I so wish I can  have 1 percent of your energy mate! Maybe , maybe one day...

talk to you later ! Byeee!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Birds leaving nest..

If only I can put up fences around this proverbial nest. How I wish..
I just realised this year two of my children are leaving us..the first to the states and the 2nd to scotland...(inshaAllah)

(Sara wants to do medicine, just applied,kalau ada rezeki inshaAllah dapat..

Should have put them in local u. Just as good and not far at all. 

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

What we did in January..

Have a wild guess where we were


How was your January? yep it's gone..gone gone gone, no turning back, no getting it back. I am inching ever closer to FORTY SIX and it's a sign of age that I said to someone the other day that I was 44. I quite accidentally shaved off 2 years of my life. 

Tomorrow I am giving my friend Keath's pilates studio a try. Discovery Pilates is just across the road, scarcely 10 minutes walk. Early this year he came to the BNI meeting. If that's not a sign for me to get fit and lose this weight, I don't  know what lah kan.  He's giving a free half an hour trial. He said it's good for the back, so I'm trying it out tomorrow. Since I have back pain now kan . All my pain stems from being heavy lah I think (ya think? I can hear you say) I mean, since I am no longer carrying a baby my belly clearly thinks its got to compensate with fat as heavy AS a baby heh heh. 


let's whine about something else pulak. Ahaks! (kidding)

Took family to London late last month. Husband had conference in Newcastle and we all decided to tag along. Spent the entire month of January just dreaming about what I was going to do in London....having coffee in one of the cool cafes in notting hill watching well dressed people walk by..or taking a walk in Hyde Park..or spending happy days in the museums..or browsing in Fortnum & Mason.... Basically all those things I never got to do even though I stayed years and years in the UK lar. 

All those plans (read, berangan) had to abruptly end when we considered that (a) it was the depth of winter and (b) we were taking 5 grown kids and (c) we were also bringing MIL and DIL.  

We did go to the museum though (British Natural History Museum- which has a prayer room btw) and we did go see Tower of London (finally for me) and I managed to attend one BNI meeting !  Sara and Nadine went around London with Nadia their Pakistani British friend, and they managed to find platform 9 3/4 , and British Library. Daya Sophia and Johan also got their separate day out with Uncle Shah and Auntie Shida (my bro who is doing his PhD in Southampton and very kindly spent the entire week with us in London) . 

We managed to find a 2 storey, 4 bedroom apartment for a price that is considered boleylahhhh...and it was really central , which is great. We landed at night , and it really helped that Shah had warmed the apartment, stocked the fridge (with halal meat!) and made it so nice. 

We even had a dinner out - we went to Maze Gordon Ramsay courtesy of some friends.was given the Chef's table..upgraded, katanya..tapi macam kena punish je sebab it was in the kitchen! With full view of the kitchen we watched the whole process macam in any of GRamsays tv shows! heheheheeee

Nadine almost didn't come because she found out that one of the exams she was taking fell on the date we would be away. No problem, found out she could take it in the UK- in Cambridge ! So on one of the days, we went off to Cambridge,  dropped her, came back to London, fetched everyone, and then went back to Cambridge for Nadine. We  then found out a family friend was staying there and he invited  us over for prayers and quick lunch and then very (bravely) and kindly took us walking to  see the town and the river! Kids (Sara and Nadine) went mad in the town, wanting to shop. Aiyoo sayangs the exchange rate weii. But it was the tail end of the January sales so it was not too bad. 

Overall I felt that we did a little bit of everything although not to the degree I wanted lah when I was dreaming away..(and wasting time) . Parents in law were mostly indoors but who could blame them with the cold like that.  

Now that I look back, maybe they were upset with us. Husband and I left them and kids several times. One time to have breakfast with a couple of friends from Malaysia who were there to send their daughter to uni. Before that, the BNI Meeting (which ended at 9 am but we kinda got lost in Marks and Sparks until 12) . Then got dinner lagi. I hope they didn't mind sangat.

Now back to reality, and kids started school and we started work the day after they came home. I thought travelling was great but the reality is it really drains you kan?? The long distance journey is just soo wearying although I love airplanes and airports, normally. I actually don't mind small seats, but can I have huge bathroom space on airline please?  

Oh!! One of my daughter met her ex schoolmate and friend in London on an ahem!! date. She has a teeny crush on the kid, and she wanted to exorcise it by seing him. Yes, that was my plan too with your dad , and look what happened heheheheh (joking!) She would kill me if she reads this as she has repeatedly said it was not a date...but he did come down several hundred miles to see her (yah yah and another friend I know daughter) This guy is an apparently sweet boy and they (accompanied by another sister and Johan) went for lunch and Sherlock holmes (and prayed at regents mosque). I wonder if she still likes him after the non date date? The boy was very smooth- paying for everything even though my daughter said she insisted on sharing. Dek oi, ni sterling tau , marah your parents karang ! 

nak tengok gambar tak?

day 1 - transit in Doha

Day 1 - Awaiting nenek and nadine praying

Day 1- still in doha - this guy was so nice, it was quiet so he took us around for a ride around the airport he he

Day 1- finally arrived in Heathrow at 10 pm! 

day 2- next day penuh ambition to take the tube..9 pound satu kepala travelcard
Day 2- Natural History Museum! (pix taken after the visit...penatnyer)
Day 2- Mil and Dil went back with Hubs, we stayed and walked to nearby neighbourhood of South Kensington. best sbb orang balik kerja, kita lepaks he shop dia contain designer items yew..

wahh posh nyer the road at the back 
Day 3 morning- the BNI Mayfair meeting  with 20 plus businesses we can connect to!
Day 3 morning- promoting hospital and lawfirm malaya....
Day 3 dinner- Maze: Gordon Ramsay restaurant- kitchen !
day 4- tower of london with the entire family

Day 3 dinner- they really are very noisy. dapat je order- dok jerit CHEFF!!!
Day 4 Tower of London- stop makan jap!
Eh ok lah i better go...shall we dream for more trips?? Insha Allah one of which will land in mekah?  There's still the rest of the year! 

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

21 years today!

Honey, Happy Anniversary! 21 years together , and 3 as a couple-24 years. Now we 've gone fat. You've grown respectable, and I have grown ..well I have grown. full stop. 

We have 5 lovely kids together with whatever values we and society and school give them, Allah preserves and protects them. We have our sense of humour, we have my grit and determination in making sure we have WE time, you have your infinite patience with me, I am eternally exasperated at how you will insist on time following your watch rather than mine, or , actually, the rest of the world. I am however grateful that we never go to bed angry because who is going to be our bolster otherwise? 

Looking forward to another 21 years. Pray we don't become crabby, like opah and atok. I'd be having a conversation with Arwah Atok and Arwah Opah would chirp from the kitchen - Takyahlah dengar cakap Atok tu haaaa dia bukan tau pasal xyz!.(dont listen to him, he doesn't know about xyz) and Atok would say " Aku cakap lain laaa! (I'm talking about something else lah!!) hehehehehe...

Anyway pray my patience lasts and may he think Im cute, gorgeous, (and such other endearments he gives at 2 in the morning) forever more. 

And thank you to my lovely lovely girls for the breakfast this morning- siap ada pavlova!! 

Monday, January 05, 2015

resolutions i will keep

This year's goal:

1. Clear credit card debt by June. 
2. Master Arabic
3. Master Japanese 
4. Read 1 book a week
5. Take up swimming
6. give up carbo at night. 
7. drink 2 litres of water
8. eat together every other night
9. pray together 
10. do a diary to see how much I keep this. 

Winter Sonata sure is different at 49 years old!

Believe it or not I am rewatching Winter Sonata.. ee geram betul I dengan si Yujin tu lah... she really was a wutz wasn't she? and...